My Dad

  • Thread starter Thread starter Ric
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Sorry for your loss Ric. Sounds like a great man with exceptional taste in music and of course football. RIP.
 
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So sorry for your loss
Ric. My deepest condolences to you and all your family. Your father sounds like a great man. RIP.
 
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Suffolk Blue said:
Very sorry to read this, I lost my dad very suddenly when I was 21, I'm 65 next week and I have missed him every day since. My condolences to you and your wider family
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I know exactly what you mean about loss at a very early age. I won't go into detail but I experienced as a very young child and the feeling never leaves. My 91 year old dad was actually my step dad of 40 years, he had been best friends since age 5 with my biological dad, so I was so lucky to have the links and learn some of their shared history. It still hurts now and one of the reasons I dislike late December. X
 
Dementia is a horrible illness to witness I was actually glad and relieved when my dad died and I think Ric is too, even though it's very sad to see a loved one(especially a parent regress to an infantile state before they eventually pass away.

Fortunately for me(unlike Ric) my dad only had dementia about 12-15 months but he suffered 3 or 4 strokes within a few months and after each stroke he got worse. I worked away at the time so I'd go round to his care home on Friday evening if I could and I'd talk to him. Sometimes he'd reply and sometimes he was away with the fairies, so to speak.

It was heartbreaking for me to see(I'm getting emotional typing this) my dad regress to such a sorry state, helpless and incontinent sat in a chair waiting to die. Made it worse for me because his carers didn't care, they were more interested in talking about Corrie and Eastenders whilst smoking by the fire escape door whilst poor souls were sat there asking for food and drinks or wanting to go to the toilet. One day I went to see dad and he had porridge dried onto a scruffy top he was wearing. I complained to a carer and she started blurting out some shit excuse they were understaffed. I told he to be very careful what she said because I had seen the old folks suffering whilst they ignored them. Dad hadn't had his pad changed for a while because the stench was overpowering. I told the carer to clean him up and dress him in the decent clothes I'd bought him. 10 minutes later he came out of his bedroom looking much better.

The last time I saw him alive was on a Sunday. I was talking to him in his bedroom and his eyes were darting all over the place, it's as though he was tripping, perhaps he was. Before I left I looked at him saying "you know I love you dad". He looked into my eyes briefly and smiled. That was a wonderful moment and it all kind of made sense. Tuesday morning I got a phone call at 6:30 saying he'd passed away. I felt at peace that he was in peace and no longer suffering.
 
Prayers and support to you mate- lost my dad 5 years ago and it still feels like it was last week. He was basically the only person in the world who accepted and knew me.

Take care of yourself.
 
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BlueMoonRisin’ said:
Dementia is a horrible illness to witness I was actually glad and relieved when my dad died and I think Ric is too, even though it's very sad to see a loved one(especially a parent regress to an infantile state before they eventually pass away.

Fortunately for me(unlike Ric) my dad only had dementia about 12-15 months but he suffered 3 or 4 strokes within a few months and after each stroke he got worse. I worked away at the time so I'd go round to his care home on Friday evening if I could and I'd talk to him. Sometimes he'd reply and sometimes he was away with the fairies, so to speak.

It was heartbreaking for me to see(I'm getting emotional typing this) my dad regress to such a sorry state, helpless and incontinent sat in a chair waiting to die. Made it worse for me because his carers didn't care, they were more interested in talking about Corrie and Eastenders whilst smoking by the fire escape door whilst poor souls were sat there asking for food and drinks or wanting to go to the toilet. One day I went to see dad and he had porridge dried onto a scruffy top he was wearing. I complained to a carer and she started blurting out some shit excuse they were understaffed. I told he to be very careful what she said because I had seen the old folks suffering whilst they ignored them. Dad hadn't had his pad changed for a while because the stench was overpowering. I told the carer to clean him up and dress him in the decent clothes I'd bought him. 10 minutes later he came out of his bedroom looking much better.

The last time I saw him alive was on a Sunday. I was talking to him in his bedroom and his eyes were darting all over the place, it's as though he was tripping, perhaps he was. Before I left I looked at him saying "you know I love you dad". He looked into my eyes briefly and smiled. That was a wonderful moment and it all kind of made sense. Tuesday morning I got a phone call at 6:30 saying he'd passed away. I felt at peace that he was in peace and no longer suffering.
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I do feel for you. Not personal to my family, but I have seen at first hand the situation your much loved dad was faced with. There really is no dignity in some institutions where the elderly are meant to be cared for. Care is sadly lacking, I've also seen same in the NHS where staff more interested in discussing their own interests than that of patients.

Caring should be a valued profession, sadly vacancies are often filled by no marks who can't find work elsewhere. I have met some who are dedicated to helping their residents, but they are a rarity.

The way elderly folk are treated in this country saddens and angers me in equal measure. X
 
Ric said:
My Dad sadly passed away peacefully yesterday morning, after a long battle with dementia. He was a kind, warm-hearted man with a sharp intellect and wry sense of humour. He couldn’t have been a more loving Dad, and later Grandad. He introduced me to the music of Dylan, Springsteen and Joni Mitchell, the films of Woody Allen and, of course, the football of Manchester City, for which I’ll always be grateful. Rest easy Dad, we will all miss you very much x
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So sorry to hear this news Ric, condolences to all your family. Keep strong buddy!
 
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Condolences, he gave you all the tools you will ever need judging by those introductions. Obviously a good man and I'm sure his legacy will live on.
RIP
 
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