My head is in bits

mate you have done nothing wrong. I went through something very similar, this guy has control over her, they were together a long time and he knows just how to play her and just what to say to make her come round to his way of thinking. From expirience give her a bit of space and let her make the mistakes. She will prob get back eith him and very quickly realise what a massive mistake she has made. This is what happened with me. Having the same personality counts for everything in a serious relationship and believe me she will quickly realise that and come crawling back. Give it some time and be strong and you will get what you want it might just take a bit of time. Make your feelings clear but from a distance and dont go textin and calling when your on the piss, it makes things far worse. Women only look on things in an emotional view where as us guys only see things from a common sense point of view. Neither wrong but the opposite sexes way of thinking never makes sense. Give it time buddy, sounds to me like you will come out the winner in this, be strong
 
Sounds like you have been used as a kind of crutch by this young lady for quite a while,willingly I may add. The truth was out last night when the pressure came on. So that is the decision; she made her mind up under duress. The old adage, the first cut is the deepest springs to mind. Dig in and get yourself through this difficult time, and end all ties with this couple because, they deserve each other. Tough call mate.
 
Bigga said:
I'll echo what DH just said.

You're a smart guy, LT. You know the best move, really. Half of the board is saying go down and 'take what's yours'. You had what was yours, mate. A summer you won't forget.

And, more importantly, nor will she.

The thing is, fighting (literally) for something SHE gave up on is not going to solve anything. It can only tarnish the memory and bitterness ensues.

It might hurt, but IF she'll be with you, she will find the path back to you.

That's if you wait.

And who can blame you if don't...?
Click to expand...

i agree with this.
i have no advice to offer but i do wish you all the best.
 
Bigga said:
I'll echo what DH just said.

You're a smart guy, LT. You know the best move, really. Half of the board is saying go down and 'take what's yours'. You had what was yours, mate. A summer you won't forget.

And, more importantly, nor will she.

The thing is, fighting (literally) for something SHE gave up on is not going to solve anything. It can only tarnish the memory and bitterness ensues.

It might hurt, but IF she'll be with you, she will find the path back to you.

That's if you wait.

And who can blame you if don't...?
Click to expand...

^^^ great advice and a good grounded feel of what's going on here...

reckon from everything you've said you're the only 'adult' in this whole affair, and you're thinking (or rather 'feeling') as much with your heart as with anything else right now - hence your difficulties.

this girl is too young (not in age but in her understanding) to make rational decisions - as after all, what is rational anyway? This is why the whole board is saying what it is, including me:

- if human behaviour was a mathematical equation, 2 + 2 would be 4 today, 5 tomorrow, and a banana next week!

don't let this do your head in. Stay centred, remain in the present, get all Taoist, focus your energies and just go on and enjoy the next person you're in a relationship with, who, to use the Trader's credo 'all your best trades lie ahead of you'.

this guy she's been with sounds like a dick, but, he's in pole position and there's nothing that can change that, so I wouldn't bother. As Bigga's quite rightly pointed out, your way is to yield, which is actually strength. If she ever figures things out (don't count on it - but it could happen) you'll have your choices to make, if you want to at that time.

accept the inevitable - and it doesn't matter how or why what's happened has happened, but find your way, play your own game (Michael Douglas - Disclosure, ehehe)

hope you understand my lightweight words carry a heavy-weight message, as I can empathise with how you must be feeling LT; but you'll resolve them I'm sure.

finally, Trim's absolutely right, true redemption will only come when you post up some pics - it'll be cathartic

;o)
 
mentalist.jpg


You will get that ^ if you watch the Mentalist ;)

As far as the OP, fuck me it was like reading the script to a soap opera! All due respect to Jane LT, but any chick that weak probably isnt for you anyway. That fucking clown has played her like a fiddle and she has fallen for it hook, line and sinker.

Give it some time mate, dont call, text, get in touch at all. She will be back in touch next time dickhead messes her about - then its up to you how you proceed. As hard as it sounds like it will be for you, I'd let her go her own way and move on myself.
 
Lucky Toma said:
Too late Mikey. During the night I sent three Facebook messages and one text, none of which were particularly helpful to the cause. But I'm done now and there will be no more.
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well might not be a bad thing, now she knows how you feel. Play the waiting game my friend. if its meant to be then it will happen. Know its not the best help and your feelin real shit right now but things have a habit of getting better. And if not then we are gonna destroy roys reds on monday and cheer you up. Take it easy buddy
 
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