" my mate" stories

[kinkladz-ade]

My mate was a virgin and went to Amsterdam to get laid. He got turned down by the hooker coz she said he was too ugly

 

[journolud]

I wish i had a mate like all your mates then i would be able to join in this thread

 

[Wio Gumflapdinand]

My mate likes to pull my other mates cock while another mate rummages about with a greased up fist up my mates jacksy while another mate videos it all in the mirror as a fellow mate makes farm animal noises.<br /><br />-- Fri Apr 25, 2014 5:40 pm --<br /><br />My mate likes to pull my other mates cock while another mate rummages about with a greased up fist up my mates jacksy while another mate videos it all in the mirror as a fellow mate makes farm animal noises.

 

[Blue Mist]

My mate thinks you are all Mars Heads.



Just sayin'

 

[Cellarite]

My mate reckons its embarrassing that despite spending billions, Man City have achieved pretty much f*ck all, bar a jammy extra time win against a relegated team

My mate reckons its not our fault that City got taken over by ADUG and not some Icelandic slaphead who spunked all their dosh on injury prone fuckwits such as Kieron Dyer before selling the club to a couple of Cockney wideboys who appointed a long ball merchant as manager.

 

[mcmanus]

My mate reckons its embarrassing that despite spending billions, Man City have achieved pretty much f*ck all, bar a jammy extra time win against a relegated team

Not a mate but me you cockney twat. We pulled off the best ever ending of a season to dick our hated rivals in a fashion that will never, ever be touched. You could not write it.

 

[Le Havre Oswald]

My mate once gave a monkey a pack of extra strong airwaves chewing gum at a zoo.


It was funny. He said.

 

[stony]

My mate once gave a monkey a pack of extra strong airwaves chewing gum at a zoo.


It was funny. He said.

My mate and his dad once teased the chimps at Southport zoo(or Blackpool, can't remember which) by pretending to give them segments of tangerine but just giving them the peel.
One of them got so pissed off it went behind another chimp who promptly shat in its hand, which it then hurled at my mates mum and cousin, whilst my mate and his dad pissed themselves laughing.