My wife is crazy and it's getting to be a problem.

There is literally nothing I can do or say that doesn't end up with her taking offense and yelling at me. If I clean the kitchen it means I think she's a woman who doesn't know how to keep a clean kitchen. If I ask her if she bought toothpaste recently it's not because I want to know if we need toothpaste it's because I think she's a woman who never buys things we need. If I send her flowers at work I'm an asshole who thinks that sending flowers will make up for all of the horrible shit I do like asking if we have toothpaste. One time she literally left me and moved back in with her parents because I... CLEANED THE KITCHEN!!!!!

She has this habit of taking out one of our dogs without a leash or collar to identify him, she just takes him out with nothing. Here's how that went:

Me: He's a very skittish dog who runs away if something scares him, can you please at least put his collar on him so if somebody finds him they'll know where he belongs?

Her: I'M ALWAYS THE ONE WHO TAKES HIM OUT (she's not)!!!!!!! YOU NEVER DO ANYTHING FOR HIM (I do)!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Like, I just don't want to lose my dog. I don't think there is a sane person who could argue with putting a name tag on a dog. When I take him out I put a leash on him, he does his thing and we come back inside.

I'm at the point where I can't even talk to her because I'm so sick of the bullshit. I make dinner and I don't tell her it's ready or even offer her any, I just leave it on the counter in case she wants to eat it. I know that me making dinner and setting a place for her at the table will be taken as some sort of insult and I just don't want to deal with it.
Did she buy the toothpaste?
 
surely there must be a state in the good ole USA where it's legal to kill your wife, just a matter of luring her there
 
As you can probably tell from the time of this post (2.05am) I am having trouble sleeping but your response made me laugh out loud and agree with you that men also go through a type of menopause but for them it’s labelled as a midlife crisis. Thank you for the laugh, now would you come and get rid of the spider I’ve just spotted on the bedroom floor please? ;-) :-)

I hate spiders!!!!
Thinking of a certain CB/midfielder?
 
I own the flat 100%. I’d never buy with a woman now. I more meant we’d rent somewhere bigger together.

A partner would be nice but pretty much everyone I know socially is on their own. That speaks volumes about the control so many have over a man.

If you maintain separate finances then that might keep you the house. But if you don't trust someone enough to go all in, why bother at all?
 
Is she a good ride.
If she is.
Get some good ear defenders enjoy the quite and rattle her.
If not change the locks and fuck her off
 

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