STATEMENT FROM MANCHESTER CITY
We apologise sincerely to liverpool, manchester united, chelsea, arsenal, spurs, and anyone else who has been affected by our actions. We didn’t mean to be so good that you cannot lay a finger on us as we win trophy after trophy and you struggle to pick up the crumbs from our table.
Furthermore Pep Guardiola apologises for staying longer than the three years you requested and Sheik Mansour is heartbroken by not getting bored.
We are taking serious measures to ensure that these events are repeated ad infinitum.
So sorry.