New football terminology is stupid

The "Assist" stat can be totally misleading. A pass bounces of someone arse and a player scores =Assist.
A great KdB 30 yard pin-point pass, a simple tap-in but the next player scuffs it wide.
=No assist.
To get an assist, another player has to "assist" you by scoring.
Assist, load of cobblers, it’s just a pass for Pete’s sake.
 
Does xG account for having donkeys in your side? Does it take into account the ability of players?

If you have some donkey who gets about 6 goals a season, then regardless of your "xG" in relation to how the game is playing out, your xG has to be lower if you've got a striker who can't hit a cows arse with a banjo nearly every week and your chances are falling to him.

Is xG mostly based on chances created? What if you have a few players in your side that can create chances out of nothing compared to mediocre players? Does xG account for that before the game even starts?

That's why I don't really get this xG stuff. If it doesn't factor in those things, then it's really missing a lot of nuances that make football what it is.
xG, I haven’t a clue what the hell, commentators talk about when they say this, I don’t want to know, all I want to know it who’s playing, who scored and are we winning.
 
In my day it went a little something like this……

1. Goalie
2. Right back
3. Left back
4. Center half
5. Center half
6. Midfielder
7. Right winger
8. Midfielder
9. Striker
10. Striker
11. Left winger

12. Sub

Piss easy and none of this fucking bullshit we have to listen to or read nowadays. The games fucking gone.
 

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