Geordie in peace here,
Congrats on winning the league. Bit of a weird season, but your lot got the job done and dusted without too much fuss. Shame that you didn't beat Chelsea to win the thing, but I guess that doesn't really matter now. I say guess, because I've no idea what it's like to win something substantial.
Wilson's out so we'll be playing Joelinton up top, where he can dance his sadsack samba all game. Honestly, £40m he cost... That's 2xCallum Wilsons, or a Leroy Sane!
Steve'll throw a Brucey Bonus your way and have the boys roll over for a tummy tickle. You've looked vulnerable to team who have a go at you, but that's not us under Bruce. Benitez might have been able to shithouse his way to a point, but not Bruce. We're safe, his job's safe, so I can't see a huge amount of blood and thunder from us. ASM might fancy it, and Ritchie is a madhead, but the rest of them will be slapping on the sunblock and sipping daiquiris.
You'll score 3 or 4, ASM might get one.