Not remembering how you got home/drunken stories

[Nebuchadnezzar]

Got very pissed on holiday in Corfu once and was found at 3am picking wild kittens out of a roadside ditch

 

[bluemc1]

Got very pissed on holiday in Corfu once and was found at 3am picking wild kittens out of a roadside ditch

Winner

 

[DiscoSteve]

far too many years ago - on holiday in Magaluf - fell asleep in a trap in a Night Club bog (gone in there to throw up) in the early hours - woke up to find club shut and empty - managed to get out and wandered the streets for hours before finding my hotel. Following day stepped out of the hotel reception to find the club was directly over the road from the hotel...

 

[bluemoon32]

Said i'd be home about midnight but ended up getting home about 4am, my Ex Mrs had locked the inner door so i kipped in the porch. Woke up hours later looking like a porcupine as i'd slept on one of those hairy welcome mats and my suit was covered in tiny needles.
Also woke up in a hedge covered in fucking spiders webs & cat shit i'd lay on.

 

[Blue Smarties]

How did I forget this one, it was only the Thursday prior to the previous. Went out on a social and two of the lads ended up scrapping. One had been hit by a bouncer and the other by a stranger, thing is, they thought they'd decked each other so went at it before being split up. One was thrown out and walked home by a mate, said friend told me he was awoken part way through the night by a shuffling noise next to his bed. Turns out the pissed mate who he'd let kip at his was now returning the favour by pissing on his DVD collection!

He'll be getting dicked on next social.

 

[BimboBob]

Said i'd be home about midnight but ended up getting home about 4am, my Ex Mrs had locked the inner door so i kipped in the porch. Woke up hours later looking like a porcupine as i'd slept on one of those hairy welcome mats and my suit was covered in tiny needles.
Also woke up in a hedge covered in fucking spiders webs & cat shit i'd lay on.

A few years ago before mobiles, I returned home a little late, went out at 5pm on the Friday, got back at 2am on the Monday and couldn't fit my key in the door. Not wanting to bang on the door and inflame the situation further I kipped in the alley over the road. This was January, probably her Birthday, so you can see why I didn't knock. Plus I was really hammered.

By around 5am I had had enough and strode manfully to the front door intending to hammer the shit out of it and assert my rightful place at the head of the household, Me man...Ugg, when I noticed I was next door to my house.

Weirdly my key fit in my own front door.

I still woke her up.

 

[wayne71]

Most of mine involve waking up in random places abroad with no money and no idea where I am or how to get home. My weirdest was waking up in a Berlin bedsit with a girl pouring milk on me and licking it off, I honestly had no recollection of what happened the night before. I'd call it character building..

 

[acquiesce]

When I was around 22/23, had a bit of a high school reunion with a bunch of mates at their college town. Middle of January, snowing in northern Wisconsin. Went out and got wrecked as you do. Was wearing a candle on my head for some reason for most of the night and talking in a Geordie accent saying I was training with Newcastle United. Wound up wanding off with some bird and split our group. In the middle of getting a blow job in the toilets I forget my accent and the gig is up. Girl leaves, my mates had left, proceeded to get hammered on my own. Gets hazy here. Apparently I tried to find my way back to their place, couldnt find it so decided to sleep under a bush in the snow. Police walking the streets told me that wasn't a very good idea and I should move along. Wound up finding a pickup truck with a covered bed so I opened the tail gate, and crawled in. Same police came by 15 minutes later and saw my feet sticking out the back. Off to the drunk tank with me! Suppose it was better than freezing to death.

 

[Lavinda Past]

Not me... an old mate of mine got on a train heading for Luton after a Christmas party in St Albans. He fell asleep and it was estimated that he'd been backwards and forwards between Bedford and London at least twice. He woke as the train was leaving Luton and got off at the next stop, Flitwick, to get the next train back to Luton.

There wasn't another train until 6am... He was found curled up on the floor covered in a fine layer of frost at 5am by a railway worker. Fifteen minutes later he was being rushed to hospital with hypothermia.

We only went to see him in hospital to take the piss.


Another... Brewery trip mid 70's. Going back to Manchester on a coach all totally legless, Chris asks the driver to drop him at a junction, saying that he just lives down the road.

Driver drops Chris off as requested.

Chris is found asleep on a bench by the police in the early hours, and is taken into 'protective custody'. Turns out he lived about six miles from the junction, and had walked about two miles in the wrong direction before stopping for a kip.

 

[BlueBearBoots]

Got very pissed on holiday in Corfu once and was found at 3am picking wild kittens out of a roadside ditch

Like it<br /><br />-- Sat Oct 19, 2013 9:14 pm --<br /><br />So happy reading this thread! - it's just not me then :)?