bluemoon98
Well-Known Member
This thread could be a classic. Hilarious
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Oddballs at your work
- Thread starter CTID1988
- Start date
Citizen of Legoland
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 15 Jan 2013
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- 10,014
There's probably an oddball in every office but I can honestly say I've never met one .......... don't know why!
We used to use agency drivers to cover holidays and we once had one that turned up reeking of beer. I was asked to take something to his cab before he left and he had 8 cans of special brew tucked behind the seat. I didn't feel an ounce of guilt when I grassed him up.
Mad Eyed Screamer
Moderator
There was one bloke at work who threatened someone, I had to do his disciplinary meeting. His excuse was ''it was a full moon and I get a bit aggressive on a full moon''. I looked at him for a few seconds trying to work out if he was taking the piss or genuine..... I gave him a written warning. Immediately after informing him of the warning, he gets a pack of cards out and showed me a trick!
bluemoon98
Well-Known Member
There was one bloke at work who threatened someone, I had to do his disciplinary meeting. His excuse was ''it was a full moon and I get a bit aggressive on a full moon''. I looked at him for a few seconds trying to work out if he was taking the piss or genuine..... I gave him a written warning. Immediately after informing him of the warning, he gets a pack of cards out and showed me a trick!
Haha nearly spat my drink out!!
When I was at EPL one of our regular contracts was at Anglesey Aluminium. We'd drive out on the pier and take the maintenance blokes up to grease the cranes they used to unload the ore. Sometimes a day job would turn into a week and one of our operators was so tight fisted he would take 7 days worth of butties with him. By the time the end of the week come they would stale as fuck but he still ate them. He also slept across the seats in the cab because he was too tight to pay for digs.
Another operator and a good friend of mine was banned from there. One of their blokes flicked some grease at him so he boomed out over the sea and give him wet feet. Some of the stunts he pulled were so fucking outrageous you probably wouldn't believe me if I told them. He was a fucking legend in the industry and is sorely missed(RIP Drakey you old ballbag)
Another bloke who worked there was thick as pig shit but was pretty shrewd if there was money to be made. He once slipped on a wet floor and broke his hip, then he got the union involved to get him some compensation. The argument was that there should have been a sign warning him of the slippery surface. He got £27 grand in compo and a written warning. The warning was for not putting out a sign warning the floor was slippery after he'd just mopped it. The **** slipped on the floor he'd just mopped and got £27 fucking grand.
Another operator and a good friend of mine was banned from there. One of their blokes flicked some grease at him so he boomed out over the sea and give him wet feet. Some of the stunts he pulled were so fucking outrageous you probably wouldn't believe me if I told them. He was a fucking legend in the industry and is sorely missed(RIP Drakey you old ballbag)
Another bloke who worked there was thick as pig shit but was pretty shrewd if there was money to be made. He once slipped on a wet floor and broke his hip, then he got the union involved to get him some compensation. The argument was that there should have been a sign warning him of the slippery surface. He got £27 grand in compo and a written warning. The warning was for not putting out a sign warning the floor was slippery after he'd just mopped it. The **** slipped on the floor he'd just mopped and got £27 fucking grand.
Uncle Wally One Ball
Well-Known Member
We had a Home Office run inspection a few years ago, which prompted a massive tidy up and clear out. Everything went into neat piles in cupboards and filing cabinets. Rhys, the flatulent, overweight, scruffy, shirt hanging out, trousers too short, take me to saville row and I would still look like this, breakfast in his beard kind of bloke, was sat scratching his nuts in the corner. Anyway in came the inspectors at the opposite end of the building and the boss had a last scan around the place. "Put that in your drawer, look busy on the phone, move that bag of old shit"... and then an exasperated glimpse at Rhys..."and Rhys..get in the cupboard" Cue the govt clipboards walking through while we absolutely pissing ourselves as Rhys dribbled tea down his shirt
Barcon
Well-Known Member
We used to use agency drivers to cover holidays and we once had one that turned up reeking of beer. I was asked to take something to his cab before he left and he had 8 cans of special brew tucked behind the seat. I didn't feel an ounce of guilt when I grassed him up.
Lol, we have a bricklayer that finishes his cooler full of beer before the the beer store opens up at 10:00am, and then he's off.
Fucking Newfies.
One old bloke at an old place of work nearing retirement used to do the routine 9-5 grind most days. A proper oddball, he would always be writing a novel on some tea stained creased pieces of paper. Anyway he started writing this murder mystery novel and proceeded to talk about how the story was panning out. Set in York, where we worked, we sat around the canteen table listening to him drone on about this bollocks story when we twigged that he was writing us all in. Cue him reading out one of the 16 year old girls name stumbling home from a party and being raped and murdered, in short. She looked fucking mortified, we couldn't hold back the tears.
He's probably killed her now to be fair. He used to buy Russian and Thai brides, introduce them to the staff that he had met them on holidays to their native countries (despite having never left the country) then they would fuck the weird twat off, presumably for someone with a bit more money and less "Ed Gein".
He's probably killed her now to be fair. He used to buy Russian and Thai brides, introduce them to the staff that he had met them on holidays to their native countries (despite having never left the country) then they would fuck the weird twat off, presumably for someone with a bit more money and less "Ed Gein".