Oddballs at your work

Classic thread! Keep them coming, will have to nick the Dave 2 shits nickname and give it to Paul who is exactly like that.

Used to work in an office for local government, our office is split into squares and we'd all have a corner each. Neil who was way over qualified to be working in this office (constantly doing PHDs in various things) but had done for over 30 years used to travel around the office like a kid wheeling himself in his chair, to whoever he needed to speak to. He was grey haired man in his 60s it looked truly bizarre, i'm not talking short distances either he'd slide from one side of the office to the other. It was like he became disabled as soon as he set foot in the office.

Unfortunately for me he was directly behind me in our square no more than 5 metres apart, if he wanted to speak to me he'd kick back hard and slide over and the back of his chair would slam against my desk so we'd be side by side. Used to scare the shit out of me. He was a teetotal vegan and would never get involved in any office events or nights out which makes his behaviour even stranger.
 
Years back I worked with a twitchy fellow who used to talk to himself at his desk. I sat in the adjacent cubicle and used to answer at first until after a while I realized he was just asking himself rhetorical questions. He ate the same lunch every day, tuna straight out of a can, not drained. The fucker would finish it off by slurping the tuna water out of the can. I was pretty happy when I moved to a new location.
 
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Used to work with an illiterate, porn addict. Couldn't spell to save his life so had to google search by speaking into the phone (siri or whatever it's called). What made it even more difficult for him is that he had a lisp. Working in the office, every now and then you would hear "fwee porn". He would have to say it a few times before he got the correct search due to his lisp. He would even watch porn during meetings when our boss would be doing presentations.

He was a genuinely nice bloke though and hard worker (no pun intended). Really funny and easy to get along with. Just a huge perv.
 
foetus said:
Used to work with an illiterate, porn addict. Couldn't spell to save his life so had to google search by speaking into the phone (siri or whatever it's called). What made it even more difficult for him is that he had a lisp. Working in the office, every now and then you would hear "fwee porn". He would have to say it a few times before he got the correct search due to his lisp. He would even watch porn during meetings when our boss would be doing presentations.

He was a genuinely nice bloke though and hard worker (no pun intended). Really funny and easy to get along with. Just a huge perv.
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You're going to love LA
 
CTID1988 said:
Theres a guy at my work who brings in a flask with 3 eggs in it. Boils a kettle the night before, fills the flask, pops in 3 eggs and by the time he gets to work in the morning they are cooked through... Thats weird isnt it?
Theres another guy who has a photo on his desk of a woman and 2 kids, asked him if thats his missus and kids and he says "Oh no, i haven't got any kids. The photo came with the frame".

Any weirdos at your work?
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I think the three egg trick is bloody clever! Wait for a flask coming out that says it's for boiling upto three eggs, and sells for three times the price of a regular Thermos.
 
jacko74 said:
Have you ever considered that YOU might be the oddball?
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I describe myself is "happily unique" rather than "oddball".

I once worked with a guy who celebrated getting his job with a bottle of champagne. At 10am. At his desk. On his first day .. and his last.

At another place, it was never found out who, but someone liked to write on the cubicle walls using their turd. It's (apparently) a known issue. This was in the ladies, as well.
 
willy eckerslike said:
I describe myself is "happily unique" rather than "oddball".

I once worked with a guy who celebrated getting his job with a bottle of champagne. At 10am. At his desk. On his first day .. and his last.

At another place, it was never found out who, but someone liked to write on the cubicle walls using their turd. It's (apparently) a known issue. This was in the ladies, as well.
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That's just shit talking
 
Proper tight hard faced nob at my work.
Comes in early to have a shower, has a shower before going home, brings a thermos flask to work, empty, fills it before going home with nicked t-bags and free boiling water. Chocolate bars often go missing out of several canteen areas. Someone got pissed off about it so hid and filmed him, Mars bar went in his pocket then a bottle of milk out of one of the fridges went up his coat before he went home.
He got sat down in managers office, denied it before pointing out that it's against company policy to film anyone without prior permission and then asked if they had any proof
 
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