Gonna try and give you some advice, it's free so take it or leave it,
I honestly believe you've become an act playing up to the cameras so to speak, the flapping has become your routine and It is the basis of most of your recent posts, I get it coz you get a reply and a little attention, some posters even like it but I reckon your better than your recent posts, but hey if you really are as dramatic as you make out and as some have suggested you are on the verge of suicide, may I suggest not jumping as with all the flapping you'd fly like an eagle.