Paedophilia within the game/City launch redress scheme

[ChicagoBlue]

Has it happened to you? Have you studied up on this? Have you a friend with diplomas and degrees on this stuff? Have you spent 4 years as a client or ending up helping out at a place that deals with this stuff? I have, i assume you haven't, so please just cut me some slack and let me say it. Being damaged in society and becoming a paedophile does not mean it was being sexually abused that did that damage. Will people stop saying it is. I would say talk to manchester rape crisis if you haven';t a clue what you are on about.

Said too much already, not going to come back in as they're not worth arguing about. We all agree they're scum, i'm just disagreeing at the blame game and shame that some are putting on some people.

Well, as a matter of fact, yes, I have been sexually abused by a (now known) pedophile and also been assaulted by four adult males in a public restroom in Ashton as a teenager.

And, no, I don’t know what damaged them, only that they were profoundly damaged by something.

As always, YMMV.

 

[kippaxkid74]

Well, as a matter of fact, yes, I have been sexually abused by a (now known) pedophile and also been assaulted by four adult males in a public restroom in Ashton as a teenager.

And, no, I don’t know what damaged them, only that they were profoundly damaged by something.

Well we've both been abused, do we win a prize. Do i have to list the years and people and details of mine to be listened to here? Sorry.... I'm off before i say stuff i'll regret.

 

[ChicagoBlue]

Well we've both been abused, do we win a prize. Do i have to list the years and people and details of mine to be listened to here? Sorry.... I'm off before i say stuff i'll regret.

Clearly, you are being listened to. However, what you are not hearing is that others have different experiences and each is unique to that person, even if there is seeming commonality.

I’m sorry for the damage you have encountered, and have no way to understand it’s profound effect on you. It sounds like you reached out for help and it has assisted you in your own struggle for understanding. That is very admirable.

I wish you nothing but the best that life can offer you from here.

I already have my “prize” already, in the form of a wife and kids who appear to love me a fraction of the depth with which I love them. It is a trophy for which there is not a shelf big enough to accommodate it.

Be well.

 

[kippaxkid74]

Clearly, you are being listened to. However, what you are not hearing is that others have different experiences and each is unique to that person, even if there is seeming commonality.

I’m sorry for the damage you have encountered, and have no way to understand it’s profound effect on you. It sounds like you reached out for help and it has assisted you in your own struggle for understanding. That is very admirable.

I wish you nothing but the best that life can offer you from here.

I already have my “prize” already, in the form of a wife and kids who appear to love me a fraction of the depth with which I love them. It is a trophy for which there is not a shelf big enough to accommodate it.

Be well.

Look, i didn't mean to sound snappy, and my beef wasn't with you - it was at the original person i quoted back on page 93 i think it was.

I know we all have different experiences, i know that, i hear that, what i don't hear is people understand that doesn't mean sexual abusers are later sexual abusers. Maybe you're saying you believe your abusers were sexually abused as children.

But my whole point - the point i don't feel i was listened to on, was that as well as my own personal experience of what happened to me way back in the 80s, i have spent a lot of time with people who work with this stuff on a professional level, be it the counselling side, or also the legal side (and no, i have never reported my stuff), and i know from what i have seen and what i have read and what they have told me, that barely any paedophiles have been sexually abused when they were children.

That is not just my opinion from having been abused and therefore "taking this personally", this is my opinion from knowing people who work with this stuff day in day out.
and that, that is what i feel i'm not being heard on.
We as survivors may have differing opinions on what causes people to do it, but i'm on about what professional people learn and believe from their jobs... that the huge majority of paedophiles don't have the "excuse" of being abused to fall back on.

And i kept posting in this about that as the poster on page 93 really riled me, but then a few others requote me on that and that set me off on all this, and where i snapped at you.

I have my own prize too - a partner and little boy who love me (well, not sure about my partner anymore!)

Peace to everyone, and i will stay out of here now. But i just wanted people to grasp that whatever opinions people may have, and we all have differing ones, the "experts" believe there's nothing to back up that claim. So i just wished people would stop "excusing" the behaviour - which is what page 93 did when he said "usually"... It bugged me.

G'night.

 

[eyalluvitt]

My first ever night away from my parents was at a cub camping trip to Dunham Massey, remember our parents all arriving to pick us up very early Sunday morning as something had happened the night before. One of the Cub leaders had gone in a boys tent late at night. Remember my parents being very emotional and me not quite understanding why we had to cut our trip short. The Cub leader never came back and the boy didn't last long at cubs with the constant slagging he took.

 

[Zin 'messiah' Zimmer]

Has it happened to you? Have you studied up on this? Have you a friend with diplomas and degrees on this stuff? Have you spent 4 years as a client or ending up helping out at a place that deals with this stuff? I have, i assume you haven't, so please just cut me some slack and let me say it. Being damaged in society and becoming a paedophile does not mean it was being sexually abused that did that damage. Will people stop saying it is. I would say talk to manchester rape crisis if you haven';t a clue what you are on about.

Said too much already, not going to come back in as they're not worth arguing about. We all agree they're scum, i'm just disagreeing at the blame game and shame that some are putting on some people.

This is an area I’ve done extensive work in, specialised in the area for almost a decade, until I had to pull away for my own sanity.... it’s a sensitive topic and one which I can garner your thought process just from the posts you’ve put up..

The research model is still very much in its infancy as we dissect the data of a generation, however, only those who have been in touching distance of the process can testify to impact, it’s extremely difficult to articulate in a post for fear of offending others, I get what you’re trying say though!

 

[Centurions]

It might help if you think about it this way...

Only a damaged person would be a pedophile, because it is societally aberrant. What “damaged” that person? I think it is widely known that such people often perpetrate the damage to which they were subjected, while others reflect the damage to which they were subjected in other ways.

NO-ONE is giving a free pass to the perpetrators, only seeking to understand how such damaged people become so damaged, and believing it is often acting out against their own abuse.

You're assuming that only experience can damage someone, not true to my thinking. Harold Shipman for instance didn't murder circa 250 people because he'd been murdered himself, and as far as I'm aware there was nothing in his background that made him the way he was. Some people are just evil. Guess I'm a nature over nurture guy.

 

[richardtheref]

Posted earlier about a lad I worked with in Newcastle who told me that when he was at NUFC knew of a very dodgy coach. Just watched the 2nd & 3rd episode and there was the coach he told me about.

I also remember when we, as referees, attended the 1st meeting when they told us what action the FA would be taking. We were told from now on we would have to under go regular police checks etc. 2 referees walked out saying they would not allow any such checks. Now why would you not agree to these checks.

Also, despite what was happening 20 years ago, the FA made match officials get police checks but coaches & club officials did not until some years later.

 

[ChicagoBlue]

You're assuming that only experience can damage someone, not true to my thinking. Harold Shipman for instance didn't murder circa 250 people because he'd been murdered himself, and as far as I'm aware there was nothing in his background that made him the way he was. Some people are just evil. Guess I'm a nature over nurture guy.

I never made a cause and effect assertion. I said “something” damages people, and those things can be many and varied. One of those things can be having been subjected to similar behavior. That’s all.

 

[Centurions]

Just watched the first episode of 'Footballs Darkest Secret' after steeling myself for a few days. I'm at a loss for words for the guys who came forward (and all on here) to speak of their experiences. Brave doesn't even come close to describing them.

For anyone who hasn't watched it yet, be advised that it is a hard watch but worthwhile.

There's 3 episodes of 1 hour each.