Please Forgive me as I am about to Sin

[LongsightM13]

You are all going about this the wrong way.

OP - go in their grubby tat emporium, go in in person, and go in wearing your 2012/13 home shirt, the one with the gold 'Champions' arm patches. If you bought the 'Champions 12' shirt, so much the better. Do NOT wear a jacket, or anything that covers your shirt up. Wear it, and wear it with pride.

Take your time selecting the discloth your nephew desires. Stand up tall, stand up proud. Disregard the cowed glances from day trip rags and japanese tourists. You will be robocop in the land of the smurfs. And when anybody asks you, explain that your nephew supports United, and you are doing it for him, the same as you would go in the disney shop if he wanted a Toy Story cowboy outfit.

Take your time in the queue. Look the spotty sales assistant in the eye. Hand over your hard earned, not for their sake or the Glazer's sake, but because he is your nephew and family matters, even when they go over to the dark side.

Do it this way because these days, we intimidate them, not the other way round.

I like this, a lot.
Alternatively, just tell the little twat that Santa is a blue so he is getting absolutely fuck all

 

[Chris in London]

You are all going about this the wrong way.

OP - go in their grubby tat emporium, go in in person, and go in wearing your 2012/13 home shirt, the one with the gold 'Champions' arm patches. If you bought the 'Champions 12' shirt, so much the better. Do NOT wear a jacket, or anything that covers your shirt up. Wear it, and wear it with pride.

Take your time selecting the discloth your nephew desires. Stand up tall, stand up proud. Disregard the cowed glances from day trip rags and japanese tourists. You will be robocop in the land of the smurfs. And when anybody asks you, explain that your nephew supports United, and you are doing it for him, the same as you would go in the disney shop if he wanted a Toy Story cowboy outfit.

Take your time in the queue. Look the spotty sales assistant in the eye. Hand over your hard earned, not for their sake or the Glazer's sake, but because he is your nephew and family matters, even when they go over to the dark side.

Do it this way because these days, we intimidate them, not the other way round.

I like this, a lot.
Alternatively, just tell the little twat that Santa is a blue so he is getting absolutely fuck all

Fair do's, you've talked me round ;)

 

[Carver]

I'd refuse point blank mate. Just tell your brother and his wife/partner that you will never, ever under any circumstances buy him anything rag related. Get England stuff instead, now that the away kit is blue you're sorted. Maybe you could stretch to a red goalkeeper top as it's Joe Hart's kit?

 

[jollycity]

I haven't read all the replies but I would in no way go there. Not sure exactly what you plan to buy? If it's a shirt, get Clattenburg or Webb printed on the back<br /><br />-- Mon Nov 19, 2012 3:16 pm --<br /><br />Or get this.....

 

[sergiokun]

went to a job once and lad opened door with mashed up face blood on floor and whole place trashed, in front room another lad sat on sofa looking the same, it was 2 brothers 1 blue 1 red and the morning after we beat them 2-1 in carling cup semi final, we had a good laugh about it to be fair

Pmsl i bet you did... I don’t know how family’s get by when some are red and blue.... its blue in my house or **** off, dad taught me well

yep same rule apply, mrs was red but i sorted that right out she now has season ticket went everygame last year even more than me as i missed the west brom 4-0, she fxxkin loves the blues now ;)

The Mrs is always easy to convert :->

 

[daveduke67]

Get a load of city stickers with CHAMP1-6NS on and stick them all over the place.

Scratch your sweaty bottom crack and touch as many shirts as you can with your hand. Rescratch and repeat until your cheek skin is bleeding or you have managed to touch every shirt.

Ask them if they have a dvd of the two 2011/12 derby games.

Speak to the assistants in the heaviest unfathomable Irish/cockerneee accent you can do.

Switch shirts to the wrong hangars and hope that some fat bastard picks up a 38 when he needs a 58 and gets Mickeys Annual Game 2012 printed on the back before he realises what he's done.

 

[cinnamon blue]

Fuck him the little twat no present for a trainee rag. Let his dad buy him the shite from Stretford pound shop

 

[CTID1988]

You don't need to get him a united present, and even if you do you don't have to go there. You're making it harder than it needs to be

 

[Anonymous]

Beyond redemption OP.