Post Something Interesting
- Thread starter Bill Walker
- Start date
calum down
Well-Known Member
i went to gordon rigg's today,
to buy tomato plants for my mother's poly-tunnel.
there was a fella behind me in the queue at the till.
in his basket he had 4 plastic see-through containers,
each of which had about a dozen crickets in it,
big fucking yellowy green grasshopper things.
they where doing what they do,
using their enormous back legs to jump upwards at sillyspeed,
but all they did was bang their head,
recover themself and do it again.
me: "wwwwhat wwwhy ww wwwhat are they?"
him: "locusts".
me: (thinking no they aren't, locusts fly, they don't jump)
"why are you buying locusts?"
him: (pointing at his, maybe, 9 year old daughter)
"for her lizard."
this country is off its head.
i think i'll return tomorrow and buy all the grasshoppers,
take them up onto the moors and release them,
start a rogue tettigoniidae colony.
to buy tomato plants for my mother's poly-tunnel.
there was a fella behind me in the queue at the till.
in his basket he had 4 plastic see-through containers,
each of which had about a dozen crickets in it,
big fucking yellowy green grasshopper things.
they where doing what they do,
using their enormous back legs to jump upwards at sillyspeed,
but all they did was bang their head,
recover themself and do it again.
me: "wwwwhat wwwhy ww wwwhat are they?"
him: "locusts".
me: (thinking no they aren't, locusts fly, they don't jump)
"why are you buying locusts?"
him: (pointing at his, maybe, 9 year old daughter)
"for her lizard."
this country is off its head.
i think i'll return tomorrow and buy all the grasshoppers,
take them up onto the moors and release them,
start a rogue tettigoniidae colony.
Barcon
Well-Known Member
You’ll need to sell your first born son.i went to gordon rigg's today,
to buy tomato plants for my mother's poly-tunnel.
there was a fella behind me in the queue at the till.
in his basket he had 4 plastic see-through containers,
each of which had about a dozen crickets in it,
big fucking yellowy green grasshopper things.
they where doing what they do,
using their enormous back legs to jump upwards at sillyspeed,
but all they did was bang their head,
recover themself and do it again.
me: "wwwwhat wwwhy ww wwwhat are they?"
him: "locusts".
me: (thinking no they aren't, locusts fly, they don't jump)
"why are you buying locusts?"
him: (pointing at his, maybe, 9 year old daughter)
"for her lizard."
this country is off its head.
i think i'll return tomorrow and buy all the grasshoppers,
take them up onto the moors and release them,
start a rogue tettigoniidae colony.
Le Havre Oswald
Well-Known Member
This and also spontaneous human combustion
Bill Walker
Well-Known Member
A Sydney real estate woman accidentally burnt a 3 million dollar home down just before an open viewing.
calum down
Well-Known Member
i'm not sure what this means.
is it a reference to a country+western song?
or something from the bible to prevent a plague?
anyroad, i haven't got a son & if i had i'd've sold the fucker ages ago.
Barcon
Well-Known Member
Bible.
Bill Walker
Well-Known Member
It is 14 years since the last new Sade album, and 10 years before that one.
They're not what you'd call prolific.
They're not what you'd call prolific.
Bill Walker
Well-Known Member
The reason why we always load and unload planes from the left-hand side is a holdover from when humanity moved on boats.
Since ancient times, the left-hand side of the boat was always the side people would load and unload cargo and passengers from.
This made things simple logistically and would allow ships to travel all over the world from port to port and always have the correct equipment on the correct side no matter where they went.
Since ancient times, the left-hand side of the boat was always the side people would load and unload cargo and passengers from.
This made things simple logistically and would allow ships to travel all over the world from port to port and always have the correct equipment on the correct side no matter where they went.