Post Something Interesting

i went to gordon rigg's today,
to buy tomato plants for my mother's poly-tunnel.

there was a fella behind me in the queue at the till.
in his basket he had 4 plastic see-through containers,
each of which had about a dozen crickets in it,
big fucking yellowy green grasshopper things.

they where doing what they do,
using their enormous back legs to jump upwards at sillyspeed,
but all they did was bang their head,
recover themself and do it again.

me: "wwwwhat wwwhy ww wwwhat are they?"
him: "locusts".
me: (thinking no they aren't, locusts fly, they don't jump)
"why are you buying locusts?"
him: (pointing at his, maybe, 9 year old daughter)
"for her lizard."

this country is off its head.
i think i'll return tomorrow and buy all the grasshoppers,
take them up onto the moors and release them,
start a rogue tettigoniidae colony.

alf-beagles-banner-red-1701x1091.jpg
 
i went to gordon rigg's today,
to buy tomato plants for my mother's poly-tunnel.

there was a fella behind me in the queue at the till.
in his basket he had 4 plastic see-through containers,
each of which had about a dozen crickets in it,
big fucking yellowy green grasshopper things.

they where doing what they do,
using their enormous back legs to jump upwards at sillyspeed,
but all they did was bang their head,
recover themself and do it again.

me: "wwwwhat wwwhy ww wwwhat are they?"
him: "locusts".
me: (thinking no they aren't, locusts fly, they don't jump)
"why are you buying locusts?"
him: (pointing at his, maybe, 9 year old daughter)
"for her lizard."

this country is off its head.
i think i'll return tomorrow and buy all the grasshoppers,
take them up onto the moors and release them,
start a rogue tettigoniidae colony.

alf-beagles-banner-red-1701x1091.jpg
You’ll need to sell your first born son.
 
You’ll need to sell your first born son.
i'm not sure what this means.
is it a reference to a country+western song?
or something from the bible to prevent a plague?
anyroad, i haven't got a son & if i had i'd've sold the fucker ages ago.
 
The reason why we always load and unload planes from the left-hand side is a holdover from when humanity moved on boats.

Since ancient times, the left-hand side of the boat was always the side people would load and unload cargo and passengers from.

This made things simple logistically and would allow ships to travel all over the world from port to port and always have the correct equipment on the correct side no matter where they went.
 
Adam likes this..
i don't think he did, not really.
he ended up having to use a rib to create a subservient woman out of nothing
(something that, oddly, never caught on).
lilith will have had much more fun with samael :)
 
my mum was a vinylhead, she had some rare stuff.
ultra-collectable sgt. peppers with the inserts.
i cut out & glued the beatles inserts onto the cover of my slade "slayed?" album.
she fucking leathered me.
 
Just saw this on house of Games.

What connection was there in the 50's between irish writer Samuel Beckett and wrestler Andre the Giant?

Beckett used to drive Andre to school.
 

Don't have an account? Register now and see fewer ads!

SIGN UP
Back
Top