Put Down Lines

[Seosa]

Ronaldo : "God sent me to earth to show people how to play football".


In a later interview with Lionel Messi, the journalist bought up this quote, and asked Leo's view, he simply replied: "I never sent anybody"

I thought that was a fan's joke?

 

[Andy Dale]

You know what you are? A five foot tall ****.

When they reply five foot ? Im at least 5 10.


Well there you go. Youre more of a **** than I thought you was.

 

[mammutly]

From Coronation Street, Vera trying on a new dress:

Vera: "Does it make me look beautiful?"

Jack: "It's a dress love, not a magic wand"

 

[Nascent Blues]

This comes from a short story (I think) by the author Saul Bellow, I read it a long time ago so I'll have to paraphrase but it's utterly fucking brilliant.

A professor is at some university academic soiree and he goes up to the room of a sagacious old Dean to see him about a thesis he is working on. The old Dean is bored and seems to be nodding off and so the professor, thinking he's being clever, says to the Dean:

"I'm sorry Sir, it appears I'm sending you to sleep."
"On the contrary," replies the Dean "you are keeping me awake."

 

[mammutly]

This comes from a short story (I think) by the author Saul Bellow, I read it a long time ago so I'll have to paraphrase but it's utterly fucking brilliant.

A professor is at some university academic soiree and he goes up to the room of a sagacious old Dean to see him about a thesis he is working on. The old Dean is bored and seems to be nodding off and so the professor, thinking he's being clever, says to the Dean:

"I'm sorry Sir, it appears I'm sending you to sleep."
"On the contrary," replies the Professor "you are keeping me awake."

It's the dean who is being kept awake?

 

[Nascent Blues]

This comes from a short story (I think) by the author Saul Bellow, I read it a long time ago so I'll have to paraphrase but it's utterly fucking brilliant.

A professor is at some university academic soiree and he goes up to the room of a sagacious old Dean to see him about a thesis he is working on. The old Dean is bored and seems to be nodding off and so the professor, thinking he's being clever, says to the Dean:

"I'm sorry Sir, it appears I'm sending you to sleep."
"On the contrary," replies the Professor "you are keeping me awake."

It's the dean who is being kept awake?

Yeah. In other words he's actually trying to sleep because he's so bored of the Professor: the Dean's reposte clarifies his own apathy and lack of interest for the Professor's thesis.

 

[Nascent Blues]

This comes from a short story (I think) by the author Saul Bellow, I read it a long time ago so I'll have to paraphrase but it's utterly fucking brilliant.

A professor is at some university academic soiree and he goes up to the room of a sagacious old Dean to see him about a thesis he is working on. The old Dean is bored and seems to be nodding off and so the professor, thinking he's being clever, says to the Dean:

"I'm sorry Sir, it appears I'm sending you to sleep."
"On the contrary," replies the Dean "you are keeping me awake."

It's the dean who is being kept awake?

Edit. Big fail. I meant to put Dean instead of the Professor.

 

[speccybob]

This was a goodun from yesterday, the master that is frankie boyle

Was pissing myself at that yesterday

 

[BigJoe#1]

From Minder, Mr Chisholm a Police Officer says in a somewhat aggressive manner

"Daley do you take me for a comlete fool"

Arthur Daley ponders, strokes his chin and says "well I wouldn't say a complete fool Mr Chisholm"

 

[allan harper]

Me and my mate at work when ever one of us fuck up : 20 million people unemployed in this country and I have to work with this ****.