Question for Bluemoon's Legal Team

Bill Walker said:
I seem to remember reading The Beatles wanted to buy an island in the hippie days and all live on it like a little independent commune making weed and LSD legal, however when they found out all these islands for sale came under the laws of whatever country 'owned them' in an administrative sense they binned the idea.
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Geoffrey Epstein says hello
 
mrbelfry said:
Interesting conversation came up over dinner today. Suppose I buy a small island off the coast of Scotland and declare independence. Then someone visits my island from the UK and I murder them using a hedgehog gutter brush. It's my island and I haven't made a law making murder illegal. Can I still be prosecuted?
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I’m more interested in your choice of weapon, namely a hedgehog gutter brush. Your best defence is to claim your victim was indulging in kinky sex play by inserting it where no hedgehog gutter brush should ever be inserted.

You could even sue the manufacturers for not selling the device with an appropriate warning label. Not only would you get away with murder, but you’ll be quids in.

(Apologies if this has already been mentioned as I haven’t read the entire thread.)
 
mrbelfry said:
Interesting conversation came up over dinner today. Suppose I buy a small island off the coast of Scotland and declare independence. Then someone visits my island from the UK and I murder them using a hedgehog gutter brush. It's my island and I haven't made a law making murder illegal. Can I still be prosecuted?
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Why would someone visit your island?
 
Have Bluemoons legal team come up with a foolproof defence yet ?
I mean come on, if youve got a legal team you expect answers. The legal team, well they've had long enough.
Of course, the legal team should come up with answers that suit you.
Otherwise there is no point in having a legal team.


Have I mentioned legal team enough ?
 
Blue Mist said:
Have Bluemoons legal team come up with a foolproof defence yet ?
I mean come on, if youve got a legal team you expect answers. The legal team, well they've had long enough.
Of course, the legal team should come up with answers that suit you.
Otherwise there is no point in having a legal team.


Have I mentioned legal team enough ?
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Mate I'd send a witty reply but this stupid hedgehog has got himself stuck behind the sofa. I woke him up early and now he's kicking off . Nightmare
 
I represent Spiney Norman, the patent holder of the design known commonly as "Hedgehog Gutter Brush". My client's attention has been drawn to a libelous claim that his design - and specifically his tool - has been utilised in a murder admitted by yourself. Whilst you preface your comments with the cowardly words, "...suppose I...." the fact is that everyone knows that you either have committed this heinous act already; are contemplating it; or, that you are very clearly encouraging and condoning the murderous use of my client's precious tool. This cannot be tolerated and I am instructed to intervene on Mr. Norman's behalf - he is outraged.

All legal matters related to the use of Mr. Norman's tool are governed by the laws of the United Kingdom, as you will certainly have realised upon reading the instruction manual, which is conscientiously enclosed in the packaging of each of tool. His tool should be handled with extreme care, so that it can be inserted into the orifice for which it was so meticulously created - as you will surely have realised upon purchasing same. In the event that you didn't purchase same yourself, and even if this murder is pure invention on your part, it makes little difference to my client, whose reputation is now sullied, and he'll probably be unable to exploit use of his tool gainfully in the near future - and potentially never again. You have ruined his tool.

My client's potential losses are incalculable. Damages are claimed against you. Indeed, as your murderous claims have been made on the social media platform known as "Blue Moon", damages are claimed against the proprietors of said platform also, but, such claims against the latter will be disregarded for the moment, seeing as City are currently a pile of shite, and the said proprietors must be a bunch of heavily depressed Berts, and could well do without a writ being served upon them.

You, Sir, however, appear to be a cad of the highest order, and in the absence of a generous settlement proposal being received within 7 days, my client instructs me that he will parachute onto your island thereafter without warning, and will confront you with his tool, fighting you with it until you die.

So, as we lawyers often say, "think on, matey-boy!" Get your cheque book out, or else!

Yours sincerely,
L.J.Baldry,
Libelclaimsrus.co.uk
 
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mrbelfry said:
Interesting conversation came up over dinner today. Suppose I buy a small island off the coast of Scotland and declare independence. Then someone visits my island from the UK and I murder them using a hedgehog gutter brush. It's my island and I haven't made a law making murder illegal. Can I still be prosecuted?
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Very specific choice of murder weapon. Have you already committed the crime?
 
the blue panther said:
I represent Spiney Norman, the patent holder of the design known commonly as "Hedgehog Gutter Brush". My client's attention has been drawn to a libelous claim that his design - and specifically his tool - has been utilised in a murder admitted by yourself. Whilst you preface your comments with the cowardly words, "...suppose I...." the fact is that everyone knows that you either have committed this heinous act already; are contemplating it; or, that you are very clearly encouraging and condoning the murderous use of my client's precious tool. This cannot be tolerated and I am instructed to intervene on Mr. Norman's behalf - he is outraged.

All legal matters related to the use of Mr. Norman's tool are governed by the laws of the United Kingdom, as you will certainly have realised upon reading the instruction manual, which is conscientiously enclosed in the packaging of each of tool. His tool should be handled with extreme care, so that it can be inserted into the orifice for which it was so meticulously created - as you will surely have realised upon purchasing same. In the event that you didn't purchase same yourself, and even if this murder is pure invention on your part, it makes little difference to my client, whose reputation is now sullied, and he'll probably be unable to exploit use of his tool gainfully in the near future - and potentially never again. You have ruined his tool.

My client's potential losses are incalculable. Damages are claimed against you. Indeed, as your murderous claims have been made on the social media platform known as "Blue Moon", damages are claimed against the proprietors of said platform also, but, such claims against the latter will be disregarded for the moment, seeing as City are currently a pile of shite, and the said proprietors must be a bunch of heavily depressed Berts, and could well do without a writ being served upon them.

You, Sir, however, appear to be a cad of the highest order, and in the absence of a generous settlement proposal being received within 7 days, my client instructs me that he will parachute onto your island thereafter without warning, and will confront you with his tool, fighting you with it until you die.

So, as we lawyers often say, "think on, matey-boy!" Get your cheque book out, or else!

Yours sincerely,
L.J.Baldry,
Libelclaimsrus.co.uk
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Dear Mr Baldry

Please direct all legal correspondence to Lord Pannick who represents me in all such matters. Good look getting mugged off

Peace, love and gutter brush

KingBelfry
 
the blue panther said:
I represent Spiney Norman, the patent holder of the design known commonly as "Hedgehog Gutter Brush". My client's attention has been drawn to a libelous claim that his design - and specifically his tool - has been utilised in a murder admitted by yourself. Whilst you preface your comments with the cowardly words, "...suppose I...." the fact is that everyone knows that you either have committed this heinous act already; are contemplating it; or, that you are very clearly encouraging and condoning the murderous use of my client's precious tool. This cannot be tolerated and I am instructed to intervene on Mr. Norman's behalf - he is outraged.

All legal matters related to the use of Mr. Norman's tool are governed by the laws of the United Kingdom, as you will certainly have realised upon reading the instruction manual, which is conscientiously enclosed in the packaging of each of tool. His tool should be handled with extreme care, so that it can be inserted into the orifice for which it was so meticulously created - as you will surely have realised upon purchasing same. In the event that you didn't purchase same yourself, and even if this murder is pure invention on your part, it makes little difference to my client, whose reputation is now sullied, and he'll probably be unable to exploit use of his tool gainfully in the near future - and potentially never again. You have ruined his tool.

My client's potential losses are incalculable. Damages are claimed against you. Indeed, as your murderous claims have been made on the social media platform known as "Blue Moon", damages are claimed against the proprietors of said platform also, but, such claims against the latter will be disregarded for the moment, seeing as City are currently a pile of shite, and the said proprietors must be a bunch of heavily depressed Berts, and could well do without a writ being served upon them.

You, Sir, however, appear to be a cad of the highest order, and in the absence of a generous settlement proposal being received within 7 days, my client instructs me that he will parachute onto your island thereafter without warning, and will confront you with his tool, fighting you with it until you die.

So, as we lawyers often say, "think on, matey-boy!" Get your cheque book out, or else!

Yours sincerely,
L.J.Baldry,
Libelclaimsrus.co.uk
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Looking at your post and the name.
The appropriate response is of course....

Dinsdale
 
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