Phatex
Well-Known Member
supercity36 said:
Haha, quality.
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Rag Jokes!!!
- Thread starter LCBblue
- Start date
Haha, quality.
digbythebiggestdogintheworld
Well-Known Member
what's red and shit?
I don't know - what is red and shit?Samuel Netto said:what's red and shit?
kriskrak
Active Member
Top tip for your RAG mate,
Tell him not to bother spending ridiculous amounts on 3 new shirts a year,
He should just Sellotape an inflatable penis to his forehead, that way everyone will know who he supports.
Tell him not to bother spending ridiculous amounts on 3 new shirts a year,
He should just Sellotape an inflatable penis to his forehead, that way everyone will know who he supports.
TonyGrealishstache said:Driving to work the other day, spotted a manure season ticket nailed to a tree, and I thought bonus, I'am having that - you can never have too many nails in your toolbox.
Quality!
LCBblue said:anymore than 2sheiks said:The difference between a dead dog lying in the road and a dead rag lying in the road????????Theres skid marks in front of the dog.
I started this thread because this United fan I know is giving me grief and how they have got 80 mil to spend! Im gonna get him good with some of these, cheers fellas, keep em coming!
tell him that he knows fuck all then! theres no way theyll be able to spend all of the 80 mil from the tranny deal on transfers!
Freestyler
Well-Known Member
What's the best thing about nailing a united fan to a wall with 9 inch rusty nails?..
Realising he's not level and having to do it agen!
Realising he's not level and having to do it agen!
Belfastblue
Well-Known Member
What do man ure and a prostitute have in common? They both made shitloads of money selling their TWAT.
Q: Did you hear that the British Post Office has just recalled their latest stamps?
A: Well, they had photos of Manchester United players on them - folk couldn't figure out which side to spit on.
Q: What has Old Trafford on a Saturday afternoon at 4.45pm got in common with Wormwood Scrubs Prison?
A: They are both full of cockneys trying to get out.
Q: How many Man U fans does it take to pave up a driveway?
A: Depends how thin you slice them.
Q. What would you call a pregnant Man United fan?
A: A dope carrier.
Sir Alex is queuing in his local building society, when a gunman bursts in through the door demanding money. Ferguson attempts to tackle the raider, but gets knocked over...as he falls, his head smashes the counter and Sir Alex is out cold. The robber escapes and the cashier tries to revive Ferguson. After a few minutes he comes round and looks bewildered. His first words are "Where the hell am I?". The Cashier replies: "don't worry, its ok, you're in the Nationwide." Ferguson replies, "F**k me, is it May already?"
Q: How many Man United fans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 560,001. That is 1 to change it, 60,000 to say they've been changing it for years and 500,000 to buy the replica kit.
Michael Barrymore has offered Manchester United £1 million pounds to play as their striker because he wants 10 pricks behind him and 67,000 assholes jumping up and down.
Q: What do Manchester fans use as birth control?
A: Their personalities.
Q: How many Man U supporters does it take to stop a moving Bus?
A: Never enough.
Q: What's the difference between Alex Ferguson and God?
A: God doesn't think he's Alex Ferguson.
Q: What's the difference between a Man-U fan and a Vibrator?
A: A Man U fan is a real dick
A: Well, they had photos of Manchester United players on them - folk couldn't figure out which side to spit on.
Q: What has Old Trafford on a Saturday afternoon at 4.45pm got in common with Wormwood Scrubs Prison?
A: They are both full of cockneys trying to get out.
Q: How many Man U fans does it take to pave up a driveway?
A: Depends how thin you slice them.
Q. What would you call a pregnant Man United fan?
A: A dope carrier.
Sir Alex is queuing in his local building society, when a gunman bursts in through the door demanding money. Ferguson attempts to tackle the raider, but gets knocked over...as he falls, his head smashes the counter and Sir Alex is out cold. The robber escapes and the cashier tries to revive Ferguson. After a few minutes he comes round and looks bewildered. His first words are "Where the hell am I?". The Cashier replies: "don't worry, its ok, you're in the Nationwide." Ferguson replies, "F**k me, is it May already?"
Q: How many Man United fans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 560,001. That is 1 to change it, 60,000 to say they've been changing it for years and 500,000 to buy the replica kit.
Michael Barrymore has offered Manchester United £1 million pounds to play as their striker because he wants 10 pricks behind him and 67,000 assholes jumping up and down.
Q: What do Manchester fans use as birth control?
A: Their personalities.
Q: How many Man U supporters does it take to stop a moving Bus?
A: Never enough.
Q: What's the difference between Alex Ferguson and God?
A: God doesn't think he's Alex Ferguson.
Q: What's the difference between a Man-U fan and a Vibrator?
A: A Man U fan is a real dick