Brightwell’s left peg
Well-Known Member
Prediction for the pre derby briefing in the home dressing room at the swamp
"Right lads. Unfortunately our plan A failed, as the ref last week forgot to send Aguero off. It's disappointing and I'm sure David will be having a word so it doesn't happen again. Not to worry though. Plan B is Simple. Stop Aguero. That's all there is to it...oh and I want two of you on Silva at all times."
"Yes boss...ermm...which one boss?"
"What?"
"Which Silva boss?"
"They have two now?"
"Yes boss...the really good one they had, and ermm the really good one they got from Monaco...the one I always pick on FIFA 17"
"Alright Ander..don't go overboard, you and Poggers better double up on both of them"
"Wouldn't we need 4 of us to do that boss?"
"Are you questioning me Poggers?"
"No boss, sorry boss"
"Would it help if I used my elbows boss"
"Good thinking, but might be wasted Felony...will go over the tricky little fu#er's heads...save them for the bigger players"
"Good thinking boss"
"Right...let's go and beat the noisy bastards'
"Ermm...boss?"
"Yes Poggers"
"What about De Bruyne?"
"Don't worry about him"
"But he ripped us a new arsehole here last year boss?"
"Listen lads...he got lucky. He's shit. I sold him at Chelsea. I only sell shit players"
"What was that boss?"
"Sorry Romelu...except you of course...i wouldn't spend £90M on someone shit, right?"
"What are you all looking at me for?"
"Just admiring your new hair cut Poggers, didn't mean anything by it"
"right, come on lads...less of this bickering, let's beat this pile of...what?"
"Ermm boss?"
"Yes Antonio"
"Any suggestions as to my game plan today at right back boss? I'm a bit nervous".
"Use your pace to stop them getting in behind"
"Oh right..ermm..but they've got Mendy and Sane playing boss?'
"They're slow and shit, don't worry about it"
"Ok boss"
"Right lads...it's time we showed these..what, what is it Eric?"
"Sorry boss...sorry to interrupt, but you haven't mentioned Jesus boss...what are we supposed to do with Jesus?"
"You daft prick...they let him go back to Spain. Never rated him anyway...anyway, as I was saying, it's time we showed these...what Eric, what is it now!?"
"Ermm sorry boss, but I meant Gabriel Jesus."
"Eric. They paid £27M for him. He can't be that good."
"right boss"
"Ok, right lads, I want you to show the old Trafford sheep..sorry faithful, how to play against this...what, what now?
"Sorry boss, but who's playing left back?"
"What?"
"Which of us do you want to play left back boss. It's just that, well they have Walker...and he's quicker than any of us...and he's bigger...and so we were wondering who's playing left back"
"Shaw is...right lads, let's show...oh ffs..what is it now?"
"Sorry boss...it's just that, well it's just that Shaw saw Walkers name on the team sheet, as well as Jesus and Aguero, and, and....well he's binge eating cup cakes in the canteen, rocking back and forth and singing nursery rhymes to himself?
"Oh right...well in that case... Felony you play left back. Sharpen your elbows"
"Yes boss"
"Right lads. Let's go and give them a footballing lesson"
"yes boss!!"
"Right lads. Unfortunately our plan A failed, as the ref last week forgot to send Aguero off. It's disappointing and I'm sure David will be having a word so it doesn't happen again. Not to worry though. Plan B is Simple. Stop Aguero. That's all there is to it...oh and I want two of you on Silva at all times."
"Yes boss...ermm...which one boss?"
"What?"
"Which Silva boss?"
"They have two now?"
"Yes boss...the really good one they had, and ermm the really good one they got from Monaco...the one I always pick on FIFA 17"
"Alright Ander..don't go overboard, you and Poggers better double up on both of them"
"Wouldn't we need 4 of us to do that boss?"
"Are you questioning me Poggers?"
"No boss, sorry boss"
"Would it help if I used my elbows boss"
"Good thinking, but might be wasted Felony...will go over the tricky little fu#er's heads...save them for the bigger players"
"Good thinking boss"
"Right...let's go and beat the noisy bastards'
"Ermm...boss?"
"Yes Poggers"
"What about De Bruyne?"
"Don't worry about him"
"But he ripped us a new arsehole here last year boss?"
"Listen lads...he got lucky. He's shit. I sold him at Chelsea. I only sell shit players"
"What was that boss?"
"Sorry Romelu...except you of course...i wouldn't spend £90M on someone shit, right?"
"What are you all looking at me for?"
"Just admiring your new hair cut Poggers, didn't mean anything by it"
"right, come on lads...less of this bickering, let's beat this pile of...what?"
"Ermm boss?"
"Yes Antonio"
"Any suggestions as to my game plan today at right back boss? I'm a bit nervous".
"Use your pace to stop them getting in behind"
"Oh right..ermm..but they've got Mendy and Sane playing boss?'
"They're slow and shit, don't worry about it"
"Ok boss"
"Right lads...it's time we showed these..what, what is it Eric?"
"Sorry boss...sorry to interrupt, but you haven't mentioned Jesus boss...what are we supposed to do with Jesus?"
"You daft prick...they let him go back to Spain. Never rated him anyway...anyway, as I was saying, it's time we showed these...what Eric, what is it now!?"
"Ermm sorry boss, but I meant Gabriel Jesus."
"Eric. They paid £27M for him. He can't be that good."
"right boss"
"Ok, right lads, I want you to show the old Trafford sheep..sorry faithful, how to play against this...what, what now?
"Sorry boss, but who's playing left back?"
"What?"
"Which of us do you want to play left back boss. It's just that, well they have Walker...and he's quicker than any of us...and he's bigger...and so we were wondering who's playing left back"
"Shaw is...right lads, let's show...oh ffs..what is it now?"
"Sorry boss...it's just that, well it's just that Shaw saw Walkers name on the team sheet, as well as Jesus and Aguero, and, and....well he's binge eating cup cakes in the canteen, rocking back and forth and singing nursery rhymes to himself?
"Oh right...well in that case... Felony you play left back. Sharpen your elbows"
"Yes boss"
"Right lads. Let's go and give them a footballing lesson"
"yes boss!!"