kaz7
Well-Known Member
It devastates me, frankly. Totally ruins my week. Until about Thursday, when I start worrying about the next game.
I genuinely think having a mental illness (depression/anxiety) exacerbates the whole thing. It's an obsession that expands the more I brood upon the events of the afternoon of a loss.
Me and my girlfriend are looking at getting some help for it, to be honest. I want to enjoy football, not obsess over it.
Intellectually I know it's of no consequence whether 11 millionaires win at a game over 90 minutes on a Saturday, and that upsets me even more; I know, and am fully aware that football is just football and just a game and, crucially, a form of entertainment! But I'm so emotionally invested, so indoctrinated that it makes me feel very vivid, very extreme emotions. Elation, exhilaration all the way to despair. I almost grieve results. Which is ridiculous. I'm aware of the ridiculousness of this, which exacerbates the whole thing further and hence the looking into getting some help.
My theory on it is quite closely linked to the notion of the absurd (as in Camus' definition of the absurd). Through my own awareness of the complete randomness of the universe, I cling to the very linear and binary and sensical stimulus that football provides. It's almost like a bi-polar manifestation, I suppose. (I do not have bi-polar disorder, by the way).
I have a complex relationship with football altogether, especially in terms of how it makes me feel and my own lack of perspective on the whole thing.
I am over analytical in the extreme, anyway. And football almost panders to that innate overwroughtness. And I hate it in a way. But like a beaten dog I keep coming back.
I've often wondered if others are the same as me, or if this correlates with anyone else feelings?
Sorry for the rant. And sorry if that was unclear. it was more a flurry of thought than a well thought out thesis. I may study this deeper though.
Can anybody else relate? Anyone have any advice for this?
Every week i tell myself not to get so worked up but i can't help it
If i ever find a way then you are top of my list to tell :)