Sexual failures

[Nebuchadnezzar]

When I was 18 I pulled an absolute stunner. Blonde, booby, leggy and 24. Family were minted as well. Got back to her's and she disappeared to the bathroom only to re-appear dressed in white stockings, high heels and a half cup basque. I couldn't get undressed quick enough. She then spent 10 minutes blowing me before riding me like a government mule. I lasted 5 minutes before the vinegar strokes hit.

As my wilting member slipped out of her she said the following...

"You might have a big cock but you don't know how to use it."

I quickly dressed and left. Never saw her again but her words haunted me for years.

I actually stole the idea from Sid the Sexist in Viz but a good way to hold the strokes off is to run through football scores in your head.

Queen of the South 4-1 Raith Rovers

 

[BimboBob]

I was 18. She was a real woman. What did she expect? I did get better. Ish.

 

[idahoblues]

I was 18. She was a real woman. What did she expect? I did get better. Ish.

Not what Biggs told me

 

[Tuearts right boot]

When I was 18 I pulled an absolute stunner. Blonde, booby, leggy and 24. Family were minted as well. Got back to her's and she disappeared to the bathroom only to re-appear dressed in white stockings, high heels and a half cup basque. I couldn't get undressed quick enough. She then spent 10 minutes blowing me before riding me like a government mule. I lasted 5 minutes before the vinegar strokes hit.

As my wilting member slipped out of her she said the following...

"You might have a big cock but you don't know how to use it."

I quickly dressed and left. Never saw her again but her words haunted me for years.

Being a half glass full kind of chappie, I'd have taken that as a compliment.

 

[Tuearts right boot]

I actually stole the idea from Sid the Sexist in Viz but a good way to hold the strokes off is to run through football scores in your head.

Queen of the South 4-1 Raith Rovers

End of year financial accounts also work.

 

[BimboBob]

Your parents were way more fun than mine.

Shall I tell the "why I was kicked out of Canada" story?

 

[Barcon]

Shall I tell the "why I was kicked out of Canada" story?

That wasn't a fail. You get a lifetime membership for that.

 

[idahoblues]

I would have to say my biggest failure was after I tapped Drone the first time. I wanted to stop but he was too damn cute and I couldn’t, had to surrender myself to some in humane urges

 

[Cellarite]

Shall I tell the "why I was kicked out of Canada" story?

Yes. Tell it.

 

[dronefromsector7G]

Yes. Tell it.

Oh you’ve prised it out of him now.