Something trivial that makes you snap!

Mainly unsuspecting shit.

1. When washing something like a cup. Fucking cup slips out of soapy hands, bangs on the tap, hits the side of the sink and lands back in the water, splashing my face.

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKK YOU FUUUUUCKIN CUUUNT" !!!

at this point in my mind, I pick up the glass, smash it into oblivion against the wall. I actually just screw my face up and bite my lip.


2. Walking past a door when the door handle gets caught in a jacket pocket and yanks me back.
"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKK YOU FUUUUUCKIN CUUUNT" !!!

at this point in my mind, the door gets ripped off its bastard hinges. I actually just screw my fists up and breathe deeply.

3. Making a butty and the buttered slice gets knocked on the floor and lands butter down. Every fucking time. Never mind having to clean the floor.
"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKK YOU FUUUUUCKIN CUUUNT" !!!

at this point I want to stamp the **** to death. I actually just stare at it for a minute, then start cleaning it.

oh and any City fan who says, "the future's bright, the future's BLUE"
 
People who take phones with them on a night out to constantly update "profiles" so every one can see what a charmed life they lead instead of just enjoying the fooking night out.

People who enquire if I have been busy and people who enquire what time I am working until

People who always say "at the end of the day" this really really grates me.

People who follow Marty Pellow.

People who talk in Americanised ways like have a nice day you hear and cool and chow and utter utter sheet like that.

People who ride on the queens highway at 24 mile an hour and slam on if a car approaches them coming the other way

And our governement for not taking people off the road who ride on the queens highway at 24 miles an hour and slam on if a car approaches them coming the other way for being too old and decrepid.
Yeah but at the end of the day dude we need to know how busy you've been and what time you finish and if you're working over Christmas.
 
People who push the crossings button then look up to see there's no traffic so walk across. Twenty seconds later there's a line of cars pumping fumes out with frustrated drivers. There are literally thousands of these twats. It's lazy it's ignorant and it's ecologically insane. Really grinds my gears. LOOK UP FIRST you ignorant twats.

There really should be an upgrade to pedestrian crossings so that if you push the button, the box thing grabs your finger and wont let go until the green man appears.
 
It's just an autonomical response borne of embarasment and also a desire to integrate fully with the pilot who is taking you safely home.
We also discuss weather patterns brexit and the impact of negative interest rates;
I bet its normally the awkward late night ones when those conversations happen, where it's eerily quiet and you both want to assure each other you're not an axe murderer.
 
The tit rash drivers sat in the middle lane of a motorway doing 64 mph at best.
I'd like to wish you had a burst tire and ended up in a fuckin ditch while bbc radio two is still boring you to death,but i won't.
Just fuckin move you dick chop.
 

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