Split with girlfriend... help.

[Big Blue Swede]

I haven't kept up with this thread, but I assume the following have already been suggested:

- All women/men are whores/bastards so fuck em

- Go out and get fucked/don't go out and get fucked

- Stop texting her

- Transexuals are the ever-grateful best of both worlds and we'll never judge you.

The greatest lesson I learned during my recent split with my partner of thirteen years was 'At times like this, don't worry about fucking too many other people around. A lot of people close to you will treat the whole thing as their own personal soap opera and will smile because it isn't their lives that have gone wrong this week. Just don't, whatever you do, fuck yourself over. You'll never get over that'. If this sounds selfish, it is. Sometimes you have to be. Only when you're fit yourself can you think of anybody else.

Now go and have fun. But when it stops being fun, so do you. That's the deal. Good luck.

You forgot 'Smash her backdoor in'?

 

[mancityvstoke]

Only one thing you can do mate. Tie that woman to a chair put a pillowcase over her head and douse her in petrol. Make her tell you what she has been doing and who the next guy is. Start shaving her hair off if necessary.

Once she has confessed get a tin of expanding foam and fire half the tin up her c**t and the rest in her are. Let it set and send her on her merry way. Works every time!

Impressive.

especially if she supports Leeds.............