Psychiatry and psychology tend to split mental health issues into the purely psychological and the purely neurological... I think this is a pretty poor show and messes people up further.
SF has a diagnosis of bipolar, which is regarded as a neurological disorder, so it's safe to say his moods will swing unaccountably low for little or no reason, and his self worth will swing from less than zero to towering.. at the same time, it's interesting that he says he took his first overdose at 17, and this time was in the process of researching a programme on a difficult personal issue for him. I can only say I imagine someone in his position might be scarred by some of what happened when he was growing up realising he was gay. He is known for his banter and plays his know-it-all persona for laughs - he might actually not want to be that person all the time. He has taken on a lot with this role as well. He has the sort of personality and life that would lead to highs and lows in any case, but this is only part of the story. The point is that, he uses medication because it works - lithium genuinely is a miracle drug for a lot of Bipolars - this suggests extremely strongly that there is something very straightforwardly chemical happening in their brains.
look, I get mood swings too, *but I don't have a bipolar diagnosis, complicated story*. I had a stinker just over a week ago. I woke up and couldn't move out of bed. Felt so awful, heavy... I phoned the doctor, got in a state, realised I couldn't get there, cancelled the appt, did the same thing that afternoon. By that point I felt so guilty for not being in work, for wasting the doctors time, so fucking hopeless that I decided to throw away my mobile, not answer the home phone, I wouldn't talk to anyone again, they ought to forget me. Having improved my living standards considerably over the last year didn't help, it just adds to the hopelessness - 'nothing makes me happy, what more can I change?'. I've been in depression nearly non-stop since January. This means every day, every little thing, becomes a test of my will. Forget enjoying yourself by watching films or owt like that, I look forward to them then most of the time switch them off within 10 minutes. I'll confess I take (very) soft drugs to enable me to sit still, pay attention and enjoy the odd one. It doesn't help my depression in the long run but not being able to focus or enjoy anything for months on end is not good for you either - your brain needs feeding, be it enjoying company or music or whatever. If you have none of this you just get worse. But anyway, I am climbing out of it now, but still struggling with the thought of carrying on beyond a month or so.
What makes it worse for someone suffering badly from bipolar, is that their mood can switch very severely in the blink of an eye... I was safe because I didn't have the energy to get out of bed let alone the motivation or concentration to put a plan into action... but in a bipolar, they might enter a mixed state, where in the midst of a depression far more severe than mine, their mind just goes bonkers fast, every idea seems incredibly brilliant, from their mind saying 'no, no, no' to literally everything, it's now 'YES!!!! YES!!! YEEEEEEEEESSSSS!'. I had this once, just the once, thank god... you can't imagine the horror and terror when you suddenly, for example, in the middle of djing like a god for an impromtu party you are throwing, making everyone laugh and dance, you stumble across a suicide plan you had made, and instantly find yourself in both mindsets at once.... the other one I won't forget was lying on my bed, having come close to killing myself, with my mind and heart going so fast and hard... couldn't stop or slow down... like being a passenger in an aircrash. In my case, this was a reaction to coming off some prescription drugs, plus some horrific shit happening in my life. I have these swings still, but not as bad, and I am learning to cope better psychologically. But for a while last year I understood what the horror of bipolar would be like. Even when you are high, there is no rest, no peace, none at all, in fact your body and nerve-system is creaking and going wonky with the immense strain of being constantly in overdrive - it's very, very uncomfortable, and sleep can become a terrifying ordeal.
To live with this non-stop for years, to have to pick up the pieces when you have gone out of your mind and alienated your friends, blown your savings, made a complete fool of yourself.... not fun.
However I have a bit of a vested interest here and will repeat, Bipolar is not an excuse for living like a shit - bipolars by definition have periods of stability, normal mood referred to as euthymia... if you are still a shit when your mood is normal, then you are just a bit of a shit! And it's amazing to me how many bipolars regard their diagnosis as making them a bit special... because that is a symptom of another diagnosis that lurks perilously close symptomatically to bipolar, and has nothing to do with chemical imbalances, all to do with 'personality'. I tend to feel there is no real clear line to differentiate psychological imbalances from chemical imbalances, but that's how the system works.
