Myself and a couple of mates went to stay in rented farmhouse in Cumbria once. I was only about 18 or 19 at the time and we were staying with 5 Australian girls who were absolutely fucking mental. One of them was my best mates cousin and his dad picked them up from the airport and took them to stay with them for a few days and he offered them all a drink. One of them chimed up "ah cheers kenny, my throats as dry as a nuns ****" you can imaging the silence that followed.
I'm only telling you that one to set the scene for the farmhouse weekend. When we got their they'd already been there a week and the local pub was well and truly pissed off with them.
We went in on the Friday night and we had old men in their 80s telling us to "fuck off back to Australia"
When we tried getting in again on the Saturday they actually had a lookout on the door who ran in when he saw us coming down the lane and they locked the door, closed the curtains and turned out all the lights. I couldn't believe it, grown men hiding behind the curtains shushing each other in case we heard them.
It was the same weekend that my mate got so pissed I manage to convince him that he tried to shag a goat. I told him he'd chased it round a field with his pants around his ankles and a semi on. He made me promise to not to tell anyone. Every couple of years when he was pissed and we were alone he'd mention it again "did I really try and shag that goat? thanks for being a good mate and never telling anyone" One of the Aussie girls even sent him a badge that said 'I'm a getchi' which we were assured was Aussie slang for goat fucker.
I'm only telling you that one to set the scene for the farmhouse weekend. When we got their they'd already been there a week and the local pub was well and truly pissed off with them.
We went in on the Friday night and we had old men in their 80s telling us to "fuck off back to Australia"
When we tried getting in again on the Saturday they actually had a lookout on the door who ran in when he saw us coming down the lane and they locked the door, closed the curtains and turned out all the lights. I couldn't believe it, grown men hiding behind the curtains shushing each other in case we heard them.
It was the same weekend that my mate got so pissed I manage to convince him that he tried to shag a goat. I told him he'd chased it round a field with his pants around his ankles and a semi on. He made me promise to not to tell anyone. Every couple of years when he was pissed and we were alone he'd mention it again "did I really try and shag that goat? thanks for being a good mate and never telling anyone" One of the Aussie girls even sent him a badge that said 'I'm a getchi' which we were assured was Aussie slang for goat fucker.