A strange wrinkly 50+ year old woman complete with skin tight jeans and revealing top (please don't ask what it was revealing) came up to me in my local one night and started chatting as though she'd known me for years. I just put it down to her being a bit pissed and me being a handsome sort of fella ;-)
Anyway, she was getting a bit flirty and rather touchy feely which, again, I put down to the beer. I tried to put some distance between myself and her but she kept following me as I moved back until I was pinned against the bar. At this point I had to tell her thank you but please back off as I'm wasn't interested and was with someone.
Suddenly she turned nasty and started shouting at me - almost everyone in the pub turned round and was listening in as she called me every name under the sun and said I was interested last night in the jacuzzi at Cupids ( a swingers club a few miles away). Had anyone not been listening before, that certainly got everyones attention. She was going on and shouting that I'd used her and she wasn't the sort of woman who you could just have sex with and then ignore. I was asking her what the hell she was on about and denying everything - which I was entitled to do as I'd never seen her before and never set foot in Cupids.
Then she mentioned the previous night again at which point I said that I couldn't possibly have been in Cupids as I'd been in the pub 'til about four in the morning and pretty much everyone in the room could vouch for me. Most of them nodded as I looked round for some support.
At this point she asked me what my name was and which pub we were in. I told her and she then realised not only that she wasn't in the pub she thought she was but she wasn't even in the right town and not talking to who she thought she was! She then asked me what the fuck I was doing talking to her if I wasn't who she thought I was. She slammed her drink down and stormed off out calling me a piss taker and slagging me off for wasting her time.
Despite the obvious mistaken identity it took a long time for the piss taking to subside.
