Strangest thing that has ever happened to you in a pub

[MATCITY]

Hahaha - Been back since, or decided to keep a low profile just incase this birds mum wants to do a swarez on you again?

Ha, yeah been back since. It was my local before i moved into town.
Things like that used to happen all the time with me in there, kind of the same thing happened when i actually tried it on with the fit barmaid when i was single. Her mate came bounding over shouting "He's got a girlfriend!" and "You knew i liked him", and somehow that decended into them two ripping clumps out of each others hair!
Im fucking useless everywhere else in the world, but in that pub im some kind of Adonis to these women!

Thanks for this mate, it's brightened a very boring afternoon at work! - Which pub is it, as i might make an effort friday night and see what happens? Hahaha

Either they are all on crack 24/7 or your some kind of sex god? - I'll let you make your own mind up on that pal

Crack is getting cheaper<br /><br />-- Wed May 01, 2013 3:31 pm --<br /><br />Worked at a pub about 8 years ago there was a speight of armed robberies and someone threatend to cut my head off with a massive machette it looked quite sharp from 2 inches away

 

[Churchill123]

I used to frequent a pub called the Lane Arms in Walsall.

Land Lady was called Caroline. Anyway she used to go out with a man nicknamed 'Bert' and was with him for years and had a child, bought house etc.

I worked away for a few months and returned to the pub on a Friday night. ''How'do Caz, hows tricks? Hows Bert? You still traying for another kid?'', next thing I know this bloke asks me if I'm taking the piss. I said ''No, who are you anyway, never seen you before''. Turns out it was the chaps brother and she'd shacked up with him whilst I worked away. She's now ended up married to this new guy 'Lyndon' and had a kid with him, the kids are now cousins and half brothers.

Proper awkward trying to be told what happened without cracking up. Not the strangest experience on this thread but strange for me at how inbred folks by me are. I find it wierd how people can live like that and think its normal, limits and standards should be kept up with surely?

This is why i love bluemoon - for shit like this!<br /><br />-- Wed May 01, 2013 2:36 pm --<br /><br />

I was thrown out of a pub in Leigh once, when I was about 20, for wrestling with an old bloke.
I was having a pint on my own, waiting for a mate. This was on a Saturday afternoon in Winter, there was a nice coal fire burning away and a couple of molten coals jumped out of the fire and landed on the hearth. This old get, went to pick the coals up with his bare hands. I jumped up to stop the mad old sod, grabbed his arm before he melted his hands and he swung round at me telling me to "fuck off". The landlord came in, grabbed me and fucked me off out into the street, my mate was on his way in, wondering "what the feck....?"

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpMWdV0V3dw&list=LLN-boMLQ7Gs10XnoCJsbZhA[/youtube]

 

[goon]

In the Hen and Chickens in Sheffield a few years ago. There was this old fella who used to collect glasses in return for the odd pint. He came and took the glasses from our table and as he was walking away, turds were falling from his trouser legs. The poor old sod had shit himself and the landlady started having a right go at him about cleaning his shit up (it seems this was not the first time). The crazy old get doesn't bat an eyelid, just puts the glasses down, returns to his turds and then picks them up and starts placing them into the ashtrays on the tables.

We finished our drinks and left, asking each other if we had actually seen what had just happened.

 

[Tourist since 1971]

In the Hen and Chickens in Sheffield a few years ago. There was this old fella who used to collect glasses in return for the odd pint. He came and took the glasses from our table and as he was walking away, turds were falling from his trouser legs. The poor old sod had shit himself and the landlady started having a right go at him about cleaning his shit up (it seems this was not the first time). The crazy old get doesn't bat an eyelid, just puts the glasses down, returns to his turds and the picks them up and starts placeing them into the ashtrays on the tables.

We finished our drinks and left, asking each other if we had actually seen what had just happened.

I think I'm going to be sick.

 

[samharris]

I once witnessed a man who's right arm had been amputated attempt to breakdance. He had no clothing on his top half and had a shoe and sock missing from his left foot.

This was a Sunday afternoon.

That we had stopped in the Windsor Castle on Edgeley in Stockport for a swift one on the way to the station means there are no excuses.

Just a bit of armless fun is all..<br /><br />-- Wed May 01, 2013 3:53 pm --<br /><br />

One of the girls in there fancied me. I had a girlfriend at the time plus i didnt like her back... Anyway, one night she trys it on. I tell her that ive got a girlfriend etc..so thank you but no thanks. She then goes back to her seat with her mum and burst into tears, her mum comes storming over and without a word spoken bites down on my arm and wouldnt let go.
The barmaid, who was fit, comes over and smacks her round the head with a drip tray a couple of times and them two start kicking off. Within 30 seconds the whole pub is going off and me and my mate jsut sit there drinking our pints

I know the mum, crazy cow.. louise wares.. :)

 

[kp789]

Fuckin hell, i've not even got to the bar yet..

And it was more of a deep in thought 'hmmm' rather then an actual hum.

Ill let you off as it was your first offence, heres your pint of carling top, that'll be £4.70.

-- Wed May 01, 2013 1:48 pm --

where is this metropolis you speak of?

It's in the west midlands mate, if your ever in the area you should come and spend the day putting the world to right with me.

where about mate? - I've got a few pals in Birmingham and spend a decent amount of time in and around the area..

Talking of west midlands pubs, i have never in my life been into such a strange pub as this boozer my mate found in the middle of some big old council estate in brum.. rough don't even tell you the half of it... This was last year so smoking ban is inforce etc, yet everyone in the pub including the land lord is smoking inside the pub, some lads playing pool were smoking week and then one bloke racked up a line of coke on the bar and polished it off right in front of the landlord haha - Needless to say i had a bottle of beer as dreaded to think what the beer lines would have been like, and we didn't stay long either as people gave us the your not from round here look!


Afternoon in a cheap boozer putting the world to rights... that sounds like a great day to me pal..

Stourbridge near Dudley

 

[StrangewaysHereWeCome]

A handjob from a woman with one eye.

Now then, I'm interested.

same old couple came in at 12 pm every morning, must be in their 90's been married for years, sat at the same seat and drank half a mild every occasion

anyway the old lady shat in her seat once and i had to clean it , i was fucking gutted ( i lived in the pub)

stunk lawful , was retching , this old lady didnt seen fazed, i was well pissed off, all the locals were laughing at me



anyway i had the last laugh

she dropped dead 3 days after


every cloud....

I laughed. Loudly.

Someone mentioned being propositioned by a bloke with no legs in a pub on Oldham St. I seen him myself leaning on the bar of a pub on Swan St with the elbows like you do ... just no stool beneath him ... or legs for that matter, the bastard never offered me his hoop though! :@

I used to sit in Saturdays or the blob shop when I was feeling low, knowing I was on a par with the deadlegs in there always made me feel good about myself!

 

[BlueNirvana]

I once thought i was stuck to the wall of a cubicle but was on the floor, no wonder they stopped selling carling prem.

 

[Churchill123]

Ill let you off as it was your first offence, heres your pint of carling top, that'll be £4.70.

-- Wed May 01, 2013 1:48 pm --


It's in the west midlands mate, if your ever in the area you should come and spend the day putting the world to right with me.

where about mate? - I've got a few pals in Birmingham and spend a decent amount of time in and around the area..

Talking of west midlands pubs, i have never in my life been into such a strange pub as this boozer my mate found in the middle of some big old council estate in brum.. rough don't even tell you the half of it... This was last year so smoking ban is inforce etc, yet everyone in the pub including the land lord is smoking inside the pub, some lads playing pool were smoking week and then one bloke racked up a line of coke on the bar and polished it off right in front of the landlord haha - Needless to say i had a bottle of beer as dreaded to think what the beer lines would have been like, and we didn't stay long either as people gave us the your not from round here look!


Afternoon in a cheap boozer putting the world to rights... that sounds like a great day to me pal..

Stourbridge near Dudley

We need to get an afternoon drinking session sorted next time im around! - Sounds like this place is never short of a bit of action

 

[Kakhaber Tskhadadze K.O.T.A.]

When i was around 18/19 i was in a pub in Hulme with a mate ....

i'd nipped to the bar for two shorts , and on the way passed two chicks sat at a table ....

on the way back , with a drink in each hand , i smiled at the girls as I passed them .... only trouble was i'd forgotten about the step in the split-level floor , tripped , and promptly threw the drinks straight over the girls !

If i'd had all the time in the world , and had taken careful and deliberate aim , i couldn't have hit my targets better !!!

Talk about embarrassing !

Mamba, what was the name of the Pub in Hulme ?