Stupid things your bird has said

Me and a group of friends were in a Cuban bar in Manila last week. We were discussing whether the large photo near the entrance to the toilets was of a young Che Guevara and Fidel Castro riding horses. Looking confused, my mate's (admittedly very pissed) missus stomped off to have a look at said photograph, and came back and declared "There's absolutely no chance that Shay Given is in that photograph".
 
I was on holiday in Greece with an ex once and the World Cup Final was showing. It was advertised as showing live at half six and she said "why don't you ring home and tell everyone the score?"

I took my current missus to watch City play Villa one night. She commented "Doesn't Shaun Wright Phillips have fat fingers". He was wearing gloves.

We also went to watch Real Madrid play Villareal at the Bernabeu a few years back. Forlan scored a volley from the corner of the box, an absolute peach. I commented that it was some goal a minute or so later. She didn't even know they had scored. Apparently because she was looking on the opposite side of the pitch to she if she could spot Posh Spice.

Sometimes women and football just don't mix. I've given up now.
 
me & mrs TTT were in McTavish's (can't forget it) bar in Santa Ponsa about 10 years ago on St Paddy's day,the rags were playing one of the Milan teams in cl 1/4 or semi (who actually gives a shit anyway).
I'm growling,cos i don't really want to watch it.
Game's ready to kick off when she shouts "come on Milan,get intae this mob"
Cue total silence and about 50 pairs of eyes staring at her.
"let's find an Irish pub dear"
Stupid at the time,when we got outside though,i gave her a big kiss and then nearly pished myself laughing,not one of those arseholes actually said a word to us.
 
Tonight she asked me if 'never' is a real word!

This is an educated woman with a law degree asking this question too!
 
Driving into Bath last year, there was a poster for one of those modern circuses called 'Nofit State Circus'. Hmm, crap pun thinks I. She (another one with a degree) comes out with 'Where's, Noffit? I've never heard of it.'
Never been so glad to be in a traffic jam as i've not laughed as much since I was about 5 years old. And it took her about 15 minutes to work it out.
 
Not a girlfriend, but when it was announced Russia and Qatar got to host the world cups (and everyone was going mental about it not being England), some girl posted 'I don't see why everyone's getting so worked up about the world cup being in another country. It's just one match'. She was deleted
 
Watching the World Cup Final last year with my ex.
When De Jong flattened Alonso I rose up excitedly and cried out 'Go on Nige lad!'
She however looked really sad and said 'Awww he just kicked the hot man'.

She also asked me if they practised getting yellow cards in training, a query I didnt even understand!
 
my daughter when younger after about her 3rd city match , when crowd was quiet " which ones man-on dad ? " much to everones amusement
 
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