Suicide

[Nethermoor]

Chin up, blue. I've never shared this outside of friends and family, but there was a rather large gap in my activity on blue moon May of last year. I made a serious attempt on my life the day before the 2nd leg of the UCL semi-final and spent the next week in the hospital. Although I've been dealing with depression and self-esteem issues for as long as I can remember the worst of the worst thoughts crept up on me in a hurry. I didn't do research and I didn't know what I was doing and thankfully I failed. I completely missed the semi as I had to be put asleep with a breathing tube shoved down my throat.

I hate sharing stuff about myself and I don't want to make this long and draining, but just know you are not alone. It was the stupidest thing I've done and to be honest it's something I'm reminded about pretty much every day as I have scars and nerve damage from it (nothing major though). On a lighter note I remember telling myself as I was rehabilitating that I just had to see how Erling Haaland would perform at this club. Well, you probably know the rest of this story lol!

So sorry to hear you went to that place, but it's amazing to hear you're still hear and survived.

 

[supercity88]

I'm quite overwhelmed by all the support her blues. I have numerous dms. Complete strangers giving me their number to call and chat. I have an appointment at 1400. After that I may take some of you up on that pls. As I said in my initial post, bluemoon has always been my constant. I have quite an extraordinary story to tell which I think is beneficial for me to get out. I'll post in here later and I apologise if it seems a tad self indulgent but it's so weird you'll understand why I am where I am.. Thanks all. I'm feeling a bit of motivation and it's purely from you all. One poster said 'don't let the bastards grind you down'. Thats so right and that line just gave me the anger I needed. Why the actual hell should I let the evil of others destroy me. If nothing else I'm a blue and we never give up. Love you all and chat to few of you later.

So glad you've had a boost mate. And make sure you do share your stories on here. It's a safe space.

 

[jimharri]

@mtinadids,

I really hope your meeting went well for you today, and that you came out of it feeling better. For some reason, sharing your issues can be seen as not the manly thing to do. Same with showing your emotions. Utter nonsense. Talk to people, express how you're feeling/thinking. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Despite the common perception you might get from social media, there are countless good people out there, who would only be too happy to help you. I wish you nothing but the best going forward from today.

 

[manimanc]

 Thanks all for the above messages. I don't know what will happen but for now a friend is on way around. I'll see what pans out. Many thanks for caring.

Today is your rock bottom and you draw a line in the sand and put it to bed.
Take each day at a time, it will be long and sometimes difficult road but with help and determination you will get stronger and feel more positive, Rome wasn't built in a day and don't be afraid of setbacks, you can overcome anything.
Thank god you posted back and thank god someone come to your help and thank god maybe one of the many pm's from here got you thinking differently.
We're all on here for you, you can pm anybody at anytime, someone will reply, there are some really good people on here, too many to mention but we're all blues brothers.
Take care and be strong.

 

[ballbag]

You'd be surprised at how many people (just on here) have had similar thoughts for completely different reasons. Nobody is invincible and it can take a bunch of (what can sometimes turn out to be) trivial shit or some massive issues that can lead you to the place where you're finding yourself now.

And while there isn't a quick fix or an agreed upon way to face it all and deal with it, one thing that worked for me, and others I know of, is speaking to people about it. Andy's man club is a good shout too. Or if you prefer your anonymity, then private counselling might help. I dismissed the above as a bunch of bullshit but by fuck it helped when I finally took the plunge.

Anyway, I'm so glad you've posted again today, blue.

 

[yozzerblue]

Good on you my blue brother. Im so glad you got to talk to someone. Just reading some of the posts on here make me proud to be blue. We're all with you mate..

 

[manimanc]

I lost a very good mate to suicide. He was a blue, we used to go to a lot of home and away games together. To this day 10 years later I have no idea why he did it, but sadly he did. If he felt unloved or nobody cared about him then the funeral was completely the opposite. The crematorium was absolutely packed with people who Loved or liked him.
By going he didn’t just make one person upset, his demise upset so many others. For him I suppose it was a way out but to everyone else it was awful and still is.
Not a day goes by without me wishing I could have helped him.
Anyone who has these thoughts should get help, exhaust all opportunities available to you and do it again.
I hope you come through this @mtinadids , stay strong mate.

Gutted for your loss mate.

 

[Kippax Street 1880]

I'm quite overwhelmed by all the support her blues. I have numerous dms. Complete strangers giving me their number to call and chat. I have an appointment at 1400. After that I may take some of you up on that pls. As I said in my initial post, bluemoon has always been my constant. I have quite an extraordinary story to tell which I think is beneficial for me to get out. I'll post in here later and I apologise if it seems a tad self indulgent but it's so weird you'll understand why I am where I am.. Thanks all. I'm feeling a bit of motivation and it's purely from you all. One poster said 'don't let the bastards grind you down'. Thats so right and that line just gave me the anger I needed. Why the actual hell should I let the evil of others destroy me. If nothing else I'm a blue and we never give up. Love you all and chat to few of you later.

You dont seem self indulgent at all mate, extremely brave to post in public, sometimes an anonymous forum is the best place. Ive had many days where Ive been clinging on by the tips of my fingertips but its never actually as bad as it feels in the moment when that black dog has your head in its jaws and there's always a way back up to the light. My PM box is always open to you pal, good luck and all the best.

 

[MCFC Wirral]

I’ll fully admit alcohol is making me depressed far too often. On nights out, I’m with friends but feel completely alone. I drink more to try and fit in but then get worse. I’ll disappear and then not get out of bed until the following afternoon.

It’s just not working for me so I’m going to have to cut down majorly. Days out for football are fine as I head home afterwards but a dependency on the pub increased after lockdown and it never really went away.

I’m streaming Turkey v Wales on S4C and have nothing stronger than tea on the go. I’ve been thinking about this for a while and now I’m going to stick to it.

Stuff being unhappy. It’s not right.

 

[gaz76]

Really hope you feel better today mate, just read your post from last night, I can see many similarities to my own life in there, and I bet loads of others that read it can.
For you to be able to wish only good for folk and bad for yourself shows how good a bloke you are, this world's full of cunts and it sounds like your not one of them so checking out would only leave the good folk even more outnumbered.
Like you this place has been a constant for a long time for me as well(old ric missed a trick when he decided to do it for free!!) I also played in the football matches ages ago, and have lived in didsbury for the last 15 years, don't tell me your a spark as well as that will be when I start questioning wtf!!
The way I deal with my stress and shit in life was to find an out, I run pretty much everyday now and it's just me myself and I which kinda works for me, and I think I would have been in a bad place if I didn't have that out, I'm not saying get yer trainers on, just that finding something anything that's a challenge to your body and mind can really help when everything and everyone seems to be turning to shit.
Anyways I'm going to stop rambling now as I'm shite at this sort of stuff and loads of the other lads on here will be much better at it than me, just wanted to say glad your OK.
And find that way to challenge yourself it's never ever too late