Suicide

[MCFC Wirral]

It's definitely the beer mate, I get that way all the time, seems like a great idea at the time, then wake up, without a clue how I got there and depressed as fuck having to retrace my steps to see what mayhem I've left behind, I'm much happier when I leave it alone for months at a time. You will get there matey, just have to keep at it

Thanks. I had an inkling I wasn’t alone with feeling like this.

Whilst England will be on everywhere round here tonight, I normally head out for the match to eat and drink and drink and drink etc. As much as I love supporting the local pubs, I’ve got to knock it on the head because I’m having too many bad nights out.

I bought four Corona to watch Okolie v Billam-Smith in with (that was weeks ago) and drank none. I still have two left!

 

[Edghill OG]

Thanks. I had an inkling I wasn’t alone with feeling like this.

Whilst England will be on everywhere round here tonight, I normally head out for the match to eat and drink and drink and drink etc. As much as I love supporting the local pubs, I’ve got to knock it on the head because I’m having too many bad nights out.

I bought four Corona to watch Okolie v Billam-Smith in with (that was weeks ago) and drank none. I still have two left!

Haha. You're definitely not on your own mate. I knocked drinking heavily on the head in maybe my mid-twenties. Don't get me wrong I love it at the time and I'll probably be out until last orders or the last place I can get a drink each time I do....even now. Long gone are the days of being out 3 or 4 times a week though. Can probably count on my hands how many times I'll have a proper drink over the course of a year now. Feel so much better for it. Never really got physically sick like most friends did but it'd knock me for 6 mentally and play havoc with my equilibrium. Is it really worth spending a fortune just to feel like shit for a whole week? Most friends/family just thought I was joking when I said how down I got as I was always the class clown at school and the person everybody wanted on a night out for entertaining them and having a laugh. Alcohol isn't the only reason of course but whatever you're feeling at the time it's pretty much amplified tenfold the day(s) after a session. Even whilst on it at times too.

As Gaz said his out is exercise when dealing with stress etc and it's similar for myself. If I don't exercise for a day I start feeling like shit and a bit anxious. We're all animals at the end of the day and not supposed to be sat in an office, behind a computer screen all day, getting worried about money or how we're perceived by others etc. If you have the will power just to go out for a couple of pints then there's nothing wrong with that and I'd actually encourage it from a social perspective. Most can't stop at two though so best steering clear of it altogether in my opinion. Good luck.

 

[MCFC Wirral]

I poured the Coronas away in the end to ensure there’s no alcohol in the flat. These days the weight is staying off, there’s more money in the bank and I’m feeling very clean inside too.

Nights out were getting worse with dead pubs and more expensive beer so I’m glad to see the back of them for a little while. I’m not going to give up completely but I’ve cut way down.

 

[Edghill OG]

I poured the Coronas away in the end to ensure there’s no alcohol in the flat. These days the weight is staying off, there’s more money in the bank and I’m feeling very clean inside too.

Nights out were getting worse with dead pubs and more expensive beer so I’m glad to see the back of them for a little while. I’m not going to give up completely but I’ve cut way down.

My cousin is a loose cannon on the beer and pretty much got given an ultimatum that he had to knock it on the head or he'd get ditched. If he goes to the pub now he'll just have a lager shandy. Nobody knows he's not really drinking per se and it stops him wanting to fight with everybody haha. If you miss the social side of being in the pub (which is understandable) you could maybe do that.

I've never really drunk at home- don't see the point myself. May have the occasional can on a Saturday night watching the boxing or something but that's it really. Alarming what it actually does to your body as well as your head. I have a fitness watch and my resting heart rate is usually about mid 40s but the day after having a session on the beer it's pretty much double. Just do whatever works for you.

 

[PinkFinal]

I've recently become a carer to an elderly relative and it's a nightmare.
I've had to threaten suicide to get him to stop his obnoxious behaviour and attitude. And these threats are to be honest not just empty threats.
He's in an unenviable situation but we all know life hands almost everyone of us lemons now and then. I have my own not inconsiderable issues to deal with and I don't need any more.
I guess it helps to talk about these things even if it's 'just' on an internet forum.

 

[mexico1970]

I've recently become a carer to an elderly relative and it's a nightmare.
I've had to threaten suicide to get him to stop his obnoxious behaviour and attitude. And these threats are to be honest not just empty threats.
He's in an unenviable situation but we all know life hands almost everyone of us lemons now and then. I have my own not inconsiderable issues to deal with and I don't need any more.
I guess it helps to talk about these things even if it's 'just' on an internet forum.

Duty has its limits my friend, if you ever want to talk drop me a PM and DON'T suffer alone.

 

[ashytheblue]

@mtinadids hope you ok pal

 

[Turtlepath]

Hi all.
Pretty tired but you all deserve an update.
Firstly, whilst it's far from certain at moment it's been a v positive evening and, as happens in life, things change dramatically. As of the time of this post there is a lot of hope. I may soon have my life back as I know it. At some point, as promised before, I'll explain the full story. For now I'll say....the post I made, looking back at it was scary. Not scary just as I was considering suicide, but scary because that decision had already been made. I was 100% certain suicide was happening. I had been looking up the nearest train track when I typed it. I've still no idea why I decided to have one last look at bluemoon. I apologise I've simply not had time to reply to all the messages I received. They were lovely and in typical bluemoon manner, funny, articulate, straightforward and most of all caring. One thing which stood out amongst all though was that I am not the only one in a bad way on here. People who were suffering to an equal measure messaged me to say so yet still offered me support. I was totally shocked at ho many of you are suffering. So, let's remember all, the next time there's an argument on a football forum about say...whether mahrez or foden should play....does it really matter? Lol.
Anyway, I'll post story in full idc, but until then, and I have no exaggeration in this whatsoever...bluemoon.....you saved my life. You beautiful, somewhat crazy bunch. I mean that. If this forum didn't exist then neither would I right now. Thats simply a real fact. Bluemoon saved a life. I still face struggles but it seems v v much like im the lucky one who goes back to his normal life within the next week.
I'll find a way of repaying you all. In the meantime, if anyone needs a chat just DM me. Thank you, thank you all. I promise my story and this crazy thread will make more sense once I give the full details but again.....you bluemoon, you saved a life. Be proud, be happy, and always be a blue.

 

[Edghill OG]

Hi all.
Pretty tired but you all deserve an update.
Firstly, whilst it's far from certain at moment it's been a v positive evening and, as happens in life, things change dramatically. As of the time of this post there is a lot of hope. I may soon have my life back as I know it. At some point, as promised before, I'll explain the full story. For now I'll say....the post I made, looking back at it was scary. Not scary just as I was considering suicide, but scary because that decision had already been made. I was 100% certain suicide was happening. I had been looking up the nearest train track when I typed it. I've still no idea why I decided to have one last look at bluemoon. I apologise I've simply not had time to reply to all the messages I received. They were lovely and in typical bluemoon manner, funny, articulate, straightforward and most of all caring. One thing which stood out amongst all though was that I am not the only one in a bad way on here. People who were suffering to an equal measure messaged me to say so yet still offered me support. I was totally shocked at ho many of you are suffering. So, let's remember all, the next time there's an argument on a football forum about say...whether mahrez or foden should play....does it really matter? Lol.
Anyway, I'll post story in full idc, but until then, and I have no exaggeration in this whatsoever...bluemoon.....you saved my life. You beautiful, somewhat crazy bunch. I mean that. If this forum didn't exist then neither would I right now. Thats simply a real fact. Bluemoon saved a life. I still face struggles but it seems v v much like im the lucky one who goes back to his normal life within the next week.
I'll find a way of repaying you all. In the meantime, if anyone needs a chat just DM me. Thank you, thank you all. I promise my story and this crazy thread will make more sense once I give the full details but again.....you bluemoon, you saved a life. Be proud, be happy, and always be a blue.

We don't need to hear your story mate. If you specifically want to tell us then that's fair enough but don't feel under pressure that there's any need to. You don't have to 'justify' yourself to us. All anybody here is interested in is that you're in a better place and you can see some light at the end of the tunnel.

There may not be a quick fix so just take it a day at a time. Sounds simple but try doing more of the things you enjoy and less of those you don't. Surround yourself with those that you're closest to and don't go within yourself. Get outside and get some fresh air in your lungs and sun on your face. Don't know where you live but I like going hiking in the Lake District with friends and appreciating the beauty of mother nature. Always makes me feel a bit better about things.


Good luck mate. You got this. X

 

[broadwayblue]

As a kid, I was bullied to the point where I thought ending my life was the only way out. My school did absolutely fuck all as my parents weren't on the PTA (a few of my bullies' parents, however, were). Those were easily the worst years of my life, and I was desperate to not just be helped, but to be heard.

I'm so thankful that I never went through with it. I soon learned that the world was so much bigger than my school. And while it took some time, things got better for me. And even though I have my bad days, weeks, or even years, I have viewed every moment since then as a gift.

Times are tough, and I couldn't possibly fathom what some of you are going through right now. But it's okay not to be okay, and your feelings are valid.

Help is available if you are struggling. Those of who are American like me can call or text the US Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988. It's a free and confidential service.

You're not alone.

edit: Happy to see you're still with us, mtinadids.