Bluesince1979
Well-Known Member
I get the sliding doors comment. Thats a HUGE part of life but i also think sliding doors IS life , its just how it os and isnt down to luck as suchThere was a thoughtful model that a few universities were using that was in the public domain for a fair while, last time I looked for it the link was broke but I'll try and find it. But if I just take my own life...
Born white western european male at a time when that was still like winning the lottery (still not a bad gig even today).
Born to working class parents who were determined that I had a better education and prospects than they did and were prepared to make sacrifices for that to happen. Something that didn't happen for a number of my equally capable friends.
Raised in a council house where there was surety of tenancy and so no real disruptions to family life. Despite also raising a severely disabled son, my parents managed to always keep the wheels on the road and a stable family environment.
Born at a time when social mobility was seen as important so able to get a free higher education and a means tested living allowance.
Through higher education, developed a more rounded understanding of what the world offered and without even being aware of the words, built up social and cultural capital that I was then able to use to gain some economic capital.
First good job I got, there were way better candidates than me but I just hit it off with the interviewers and they offered the job to me when it should probably have gone to others.
2 years into that job, the team I was leading made a fairly catastrophic error. Had my boss been the person I was working for 3 months earlier, I 100% know I'd have been thrown under the bus and fired. But my new boss told me to go home and do nothing while he peeled the MD off the roof.
A company I was working for was bought by a US company and in an early management meeting the simple fact I had a British accent meant that at the point everyone was arguing about something, my voice cut through and within a couple of years I had an exec position.
I could go on but I think the reality is that life is full of both big and small sliding door moments. I also think people often have access to a variety of social and cultural advantages that they don't even realise are advantages.
I'm doing ok but none of that's really down to me if I'm honest. I've messed up as many times as I've done a good job. I wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth but I was born into a loving environment with strong values at a time when a commitment to social mobility was peaking. I was able to take advantage of that and I've been in the right place at the right time at a number of points in my life and when things have gone wrong I've had always been blessed to have someone or something to fall back on.
Me and my wife both had dates on the night of our first date but cancelled them then met . 15 years and 2 kids later ..
But im not sure most successes in life can be just put down to luck.
I was thinking of the lads i know who wre successful and have a few quid and for most of them its through pure graft. One example is a lad with a big removal company and he started out just him and a tranny van. The others are the same , they grafter their bollocks off.
Im self emp and do ok but through CHOICE i keep my business at the level it is as i dont want the stress that comes with expanding.
So if i did expand (which i could), became successful, is that down to luck or choice?
Ps you put your side of the debate down very well, me not so much, so be gentle