The language of management BS

[bluethrunthru]

so glad to have left this bollocks behind

 

[PPT]

so glad to have left this bollocks behind

Exactly this.

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

so glad to have left this bollocks behind

Did it leave you on a plateau of disillusionment?

 

[BrianW]

I realised my head could no longer cope with the cnuts at work when they brought in a bank - a fucking bank - to teach us about customer service.

While they were at it, I'm surprised they didn't bring in Harold Shipman to talk about the sanctity of life and Prince Andrew to advise about proper conduct around schoolgirls.

 

[Tuearts right boot]

so glad to have left this bollocks behind

So glad never to have been involved in it in the first place.

 

[casserole of nonsense]

I reached my futility boundary when challenged with using 360 degree feedback to identify what I did best and find more ways of doing less of it better.

 

[johnnytapia]

Slightly tangential but in a similar managerial bullshit / bollocks vein:
I once worked for a bloke who insisted upon wearing two watches.
“I need to always know the time and therefore cannot take the risk of my only watch not working.”

To which a fellow employee piped up: “There’s only one man who can legitimately wear two watches simultaneously:

And you sure as fuck aren’t General H Norman Schwarzkopf. “

 

[somapop]

I suggested a 'thought shower' with some of my colleagues, but apparently HR weren't too happy with that.

 

[threespires]

Why are managers trained to use 309 words when 30 will suffice?

It's a complete waste of the English language.

It's a shame that even though you've probably been empowered with class leading training on the vision and mission for your organisation your mindset isn't attuned to the win win position you could achieve if only you embraced a holistic view of the business and the various stakeholder relationships, including with your managers. I suspect it's a sub-optimal attitude rather than any lack of intellectual bandwidth that means you don't leverage the pretty extensive knowledge base a man of your experience probably has for the betterment of your inter and intra team relationships, especially with those who are tasked with driving the company forward to meet it's key performance indicators. Hopefully one of your colleagues will reach out to you to help with some ideation around eliminating these blockers you appear to have; it's my sincere wish that someone can help you sharpen your pencil a bit and lay the foundations towards you becoming an integral part of a high performance team. There's bound to be some low hanging fruit that you can deliver as quick wins to lay the foundations of changes that will make you an exemplar of best practice rather than simply a source of untapped potential.

Or failing that, tell them to go f**k themselves.

 

[blumoonrisen]

It's an environment I wouldn't last 5 mins in. Going to work and wearing a tie, arsing about on a computer in an office, team bonding, meeting targets, or whatever it is they do, answering to some oddball who attempts to motivate etc..
So glad I chose the building trade where I work for myself, answer to no-one and have a laugh with mainly normal people and proper blokes.
Get a trade is still the best advice to give anyone.