The language of management BS

[threespires]

Slightly tangential but in a similar managerial bullshit / bollocks vein:
I once worked for a bloke who insisted upon wearing two watches.
“I need to always know the time and therefore cannot take the risk of my only watch not working.”

To which a fellow employee piped up: “There’s only one man who can legitimately wear two watches simultaneously:

And you sure as fuck aren’t General H Norman Schwarzkopf. “

View attachment 113343

They've got one of Stormin' Norman's uniforms on display at the IWM North.

 

[FogBlueInSanFran]

The one I hate most: "interface" used as a verb.

 

[TShed]

I quit my job the day my manager said we needed to "take a jump into the thought tank together and have a swim"

Did exactly the same but I was more disturbed by him entering the office in a pair of Speedos plus flippers goggles and a snorkel

 

[uwerosler28]

We need someone to look at this strategically to confirm the route cause of the issue.

 

[Mazzarelli's Swiss Cheese]

The one I hate most: "interface" used as a verb.

Yes, I feel the same about 'space docking'.

 

[RadcliffeRick]

@TinFoilHat Many thanks for raising the profile of this important and pertinent issue to the wider populace. This is a most worrisome situation that has facilitated the possibility of open and honest debate around this subject.
This is worthy of a breakout quorum where, hopefully, consensus can be achieved. Failing that, we could perhaps invite you to share some more of your experiences with the group in order for us all to get a full and complete grasp of the size of the problem that, as you have so forcefully suggested, requires debate with a view of achieving common acceptance of what is the norm for communication format moving forward from this juncture.
We value the opportunity of starting the issue review process off from this point, hopefully gaining some traction and input from other valued members of this esteemed caucus.
Please feel empowered to add your thoughts and opinions at any time. This opportunity is also extended to any other participant on this excellent electronic medium that is Blue Moon Forum.

 

[Nellies left peg]

You’ve only got to look at people’s LinkedIn profiles to see the world is full of complete arsewipes

 

[KS55]

I am trying to persuade my cat to think out of the box.

 

[mancboy]

It's an environment I wouldn't last 5 mins in. Going to work and wearing a tie, arsing about on a computer in an office, team bonding, meeting targets, or whatever it is they do, answering to some oddball who attempts to motivate etc..
So glad I chose the building trade where I work for myself, answer to no-one and have a laugh with mainly normal people and proper blokes.
Get a trade is still the best advice to give anyone.

Oh i dont know its catching up to you guys too, my sisters builder said he had the wrong type of bricks the other day and i said is that builder speak for leaves on the line.

 

[mancboy]

@TinFoilHat Many thanks for raising the profile of this important and pertinent issue to the wider populace. This is a most worrisome situation that has facilitated the possibility of open and honest debate around this subject.
This is worthy of a breakout quorum where, hopefully, consensus can be achieved. Failing that, we could perhaps invite you to share some more of your experiences with the group in order for us all to get a full and complete grasp of the size of the problem that, as you have so forcefully suggested, requires debate with a view of achieving common acceptance of what is the norm for communication format moving forward from this juncture.
We value the opportunity of starting the issue review process off from this point, hopefully gaining some traction and input from other valued members of this esteemed caucus.
Please feel empowered to add your thoughts and opinions and any time. This opportunity is also extended to any other participant on this excellent electronic medium that is Blue Moon Forum.

ok lets put a pin in that and circle back to it when we are all on the same page and pulling in the same direction to meet a common goal.