The "let's talk" thread

peoffrey

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That post makes me want to live in Manchester :-)
Seriously though, I hope it goes great with your friend. Relationships like that are priceless!

We’ve had our ups and downs. He’s got a heart of gold but is thick as a plank. I don’t know a stupider person. However, he has no prejudice or snobbery and would talk to anyone. He’s more personable than me, certainly. He must owe me £100 in drinks, lends etc. I’ll never ask for it back.
 

shackattack

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watched losing it -our mental health emergency on C4 catch up earlier- brings it home just how lucky we are.
 

kaz7

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watched losing it -our mental health emergency on C4 catch up earlier- brings it home just how lucky we are.
It's such a big problem,it's time more funding went to deal with it and it can happen to anyone out of the blue,it's a nightmare to live with,i've been stood on beachy head twice,it's can take you to very dark placespeople need to talk and talk and talk
 

Hes the left back remember

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Its all well and good having these programmes and celebrities highlighting the importance of mental health but try accessing treatment.
We were told six weeks for appt following referral from our GP.This turned out be be with a clinical nurse who then said we had to make further appt with consultant as she could not prescribe meds.We had meds from our GP but with no effect he recommended stronger drug but would want specialist ie Psychiatrist to prescribe hence the referral.
They couldn't give us time scale as consultant only visited the crisis centre twice a week.
We have ended up going private with a consultant and therapist.
Doing everything else recommended exercise daily,long walks ,keeping occupied etc
Its an awful time and my partner is in a dark place and feels desperate.
 

shilly8903

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Thought i would give a quick update on one of my previous posts about my battles with addiction. As of today im 24 days clean and sober minus half a spliff, which isnt an issue as i cannot cope with where it takes my mind. 24 days might not seem a lot but its a massive milestone for me, i litterally could not go 3 days without fucking my life up. Its mostly been quite easy being honest but the warning signs are there. Having dreams most nights about doing coke, litterly devasted in my dream that i have fucked it again. Ive also seriously thought about getting a bag twice one being tonight luckily for me bank card was hidden from me by wife before she went to bed, that will probably hit home where this shit takes you that she even has to do that, she knows its payday. Im very lucky. Maybe i need to start going to a few anonymous meetings, something which ive not been doing this time but i think the extra help might help. Generally i just feel like somethings changed in me i want an actually life, a nice life for my family. Im 31 soon and ive literally fucked my whole life up in that time. I did gamble last week something else i have a serious issue with too. Hopefully that doesnt happen this week. I know so much about recovery from rehab and meetings and the most important thing is being honest and telling someone how you feel because it takes it away from you. I know this post will help me get through tomorrow staying sober. Good luck for 2020 everyone
 

Kris_Musampa

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Thought i would give a quick update on one of my previous posts about my battles with addiction. As of today im 24 days clean and sober minus half a spliff, which isnt an issue as i cannot cope with where it takes my mind. 24 days might not seem a lot but its a massive milestone for me, i litterally could not go 3 days without fucking my life up. Its mostly been quite easy being honest but the warning signs are there. Having dreams most nights about doing coke, litterly devasted in my dream that i have fucked it again. Ive also seriously thought about getting a bag twice one being tonight luckily for me bank card was hidden from me by wife before she went to bed, that will probably hit home where this shit takes you that she even has to do that, she knows its payday. Im very lucky. Maybe i need to start going to a few anonymous meetings, something which ive not been doing this time but i think the extra help might help. Generally i just feel like somethings changed in me i want an actually life, a nice life for my family. Im 31 soon and ive literally fucked my whole life up in that time. I did gamble last week something else i have a serious issue with too. Hopefully that doesnt happen this week. I know so much about recovery from rehab and meetings and the most important thing is being honest and telling someone how you feel because it takes it away from you. I know this post will help me get through tomorrow staying sober. Good luck for 2020 everyone

A huge post.

Just for today Shilly. And get along to and use those groups, there's strength in numbers.
 

Nebuchadnezzar

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screaming my bollocks off
Thought i would give a quick update on one of my previous posts about my battles with addiction. As of today im 24 days clean and sober minus half a spliff, which isnt an issue as i cannot cope with where it takes my mind. 24 days might not seem a lot but its a massive milestone for me, i litterally could not go 3 days without fucking my life up. Its mostly been quite easy being honest but the warning signs are there. Having dreams most nights about doing coke, litterly devasted in my dream that i have fucked it again. Ive also seriously thought about getting a bag twice one being tonight luckily for me bank card was hidden from me by wife before she went to bed, that will probably hit home where this shit takes you that she even has to do that, she knows its payday. Im very lucky. Maybe i need to start going to a few anonymous meetings, something which ive not been doing this time but i think the extra help might help. Generally i just feel like somethings changed in me i want an actually life, a nice life for my family. Im 31 soon and ive literally fucked my whole life up in that time. I did gamble last week something else i have a serious issue with too. Hopefully that doesnt happen this week. I know so much about recovery from rehab and meetings and the most important thing is being honest and telling someone how you feel because it takes it away from you. I know this post will help me get through tomorrow staying sober. Good luck for 2020 everyone

Good lad, that's a brilliant effort and not something that is done easily. Day by day. Dreams are just dreams - try to ignore them. If you keep doing exactly what you've been doing over the last 24 days, you'll win this. You're in control.
 

somapop

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8 Mar 2010
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I think it's increasingly important to emphasise the 'day by day' mantra. Look at the steps in front of you right now. So many things can alter from one day to the next, thinking too much about what's going to happen in the future (I know you have to plan ahead...) isn't much help.

I've had a pretty torrid month....Christmas was a wash out due to flu which exacerbated pretty much everything. I couldn't run or go to the gym and my wellbeing sank to the bottom once again. When I have moments of clarity I'm actually angry with myself for getting like this again. Following the split and subsequent breakdown 2 years ago I managed over the past year to change into something I've never been before (far more focussed, happy and confident) so you can perhaps understand where the anger here came from.

I'm now in the process of moving out of the family room and I'm not taking it too well. Deep down I know it's the right thing, but losing the home (the one I stripped bare and practically rebuilt internally) is heart breaking. Moving to a tiny flat (fortunately five mins away from the kids) isn't doing my thought processes much good. I'm also going to desperately miss the dog I never wanted (not a dog persons/allergic to them) but ended up falling in love with.

We have an agreement that I can pop round the old home any time (and they can to the flat...but its not particularly big enough for the kids to stay comfortably). I'll have to to help out with the continuing refurb (I said I would), although it's pretty much out of my hands (the house legally). What can I do though? I could never personally turf the family out (or a partner never mind how hard it became) and I'm pleased the kids have a nice home and nice area to be brought up in.
Forward thinking, I'm finding it hard as I'm having to start again (at 46)...I'll be renting for some time I think but be nigh on impossible for me to buy anything round here and as I'm a 'doer upper' would much prefer to buy rather than rent. I'm in the process of a career change too so I've got a shit load of struggles in my head.

The saving grace for me was joining a gym. My 15 year old daughter (suffers with Asperger's/ASD) wants to go every day (she's discovered power lifting and all the associated techniques and she has an incredible brain). She's been hugely boosted by all this (she's pretty relentless and obsessive once she gets sets her mind to it) and her confidence levels are higher than ever (she has missed pretty much 3 years of school). This in turn has kept my head just above water alongside running. I also do yoga and mediation (which I want to explore further) which is helping a lot (I only drink sparingly if I'm in a buoyant mood).
My focus now is just cracking on this year and looking for somewhere a little larger and plusher next year. I've mainly freelanced whilst at the old home (bearing in mind my daughter has needed someone home with her during this time) so my own mortgage wise...I'm not sure - I'll have to organise a meeting with an advisor in the near future.
I don't feel too bad today writing this but I've been as low as I could get (fortunately not 'breakdown down') but I do think these experiences make you far more stoical.
Time to hold on and focus now.
Most people I meet daily would think I'm fine and dandy. I did a project presentation in front of 60 people (some from the tech industry) a couple of weeks back and a few remarked I should be a public speaker...I'd literally never done that before in my life and for many, many years could barely bring myself to look into peoples eyes such was my shyness/anxieties. Life's funny eh?

Any critiques/tips on this greatly received.
Thanks.
 

Magicpole

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Thought i would give a quick update on one of my previous posts about my battles with addiction. As of today im 24 days clean and sober minus half a spliff, which isnt an issue as i cannot cope with where it takes my mind. 24 days might not seem a lot but its a massive milestone for me, i litterally could not go 3 days without fucking my life up. Its mostly been quite easy being honest but the warning signs are there. Having dreams most nights about doing coke, litterly devasted in my dream that i have fucked it again. Ive also seriously thought about getting a bag twice one being tonight luckily for me bank card was hidden from me by wife before she went to bed, that will probably hit home where this shit takes you that she even has to do that, she knows its payday. Im very lucky. Maybe i need to start going to a few anonymous meetings, something which ive not been doing this time but i think the extra help might help. Generally i just feel like somethings changed in me i want an actually life, a nice life for my family. Im 31 soon and ive literally fucked my whole life up in that time. I did gamble last week something else i have a serious issue with too. Hopefully that doesnt happen this week. I know so much about recovery from rehab and meetings and the most important thing is being honest and telling someone how you feel because it takes it away from you. I know this post will help me get through tomorrow staying sober. Good luck for 2020 everyone

Good luck to you mate. It won't be easy but how you feel about life without changing, is far worse. You're right to feel good about your days clean. I hope you make it to a better place, you've made a great start.
 

Magicpole

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Hi mate, sorry you're down, here to help and lend an ear.

As others have suggested, I think you need to get all the weight of stress off your chest and quell your demons with professional counselling. Just been reading back a PMs between us in 2013(after you had it shite) and I can see this is a particularly raw time of year for you. Seems to me like you have underlying problems you cannot shift. I have myself and appreciate help and advice other have offered.

Here's an offer. You say you have no social life. Tell you what I'll meet you for a few scoops. If I can't cheer you up and get you laughing I'll pay for all your drinks. Blind drunk I don't do anymore, I'm not going there, horrible desolate place I once frequented too often.... Merry drunk is fine amongst friends and laughter socially: )

I'm here to help mate, others are too. Please don't suffer alone.

Brilliant post you ****.

And on the drinking challenge? I would like to take you up on that. With your patter I won't spend a coin. With my patter you will be laughing so much, spending £300 will seem well worth it. A fucking bargain. I just remembered I drink expensive malts, better make it £400.
 

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