The secrets to a long and happy marriage (for you blokes)

[Tuearts right boot]

Yeah I'd go along with that, I go to work at 7:30am and come home about 6:30pm have dinner with her then go ouright separate ways one in the dining room and the other in the sitting room. It could be a Monday night and I'd say 'I'm going in the dining room to watch the football'. She says 'Ah who's playing?'. I'd reply 'Luton v Accrington Stanley massive game'.

Use any game as an excuse.

That's more less us to a tee. I watch my shite while she goes to bed to read a book or she watches her shite and I'm in here on this. Seems I'm doing something right then.

 

[Bill Walker]

A croupier in Vegas told me there’s 9 words that are the secret to a happy marriage

“ yes dear, you were right and I was wrong “

Hahahahaa

 

[BlueHammer85]

I’m getting Married in August.

 

[Fame Monster]

1. Don't neglect the clit

2. Compliment her and occasionally tell her you love her and occasionally let her get her own way but do it too often and she won't respect you. Also, if you compliment her too much even if she's a fat bird, she won't make any effort to lose weight.

3. Always come up with new ideas for things to do with each other whether it's in the bedroom or on your days out.

4. Never be unemployed

5. Never be stingy

6. Make an effort with her family/friends and be a good conversationalist/attend family events etc.

7. When she's in the wrong, say so and put her in her place. Don't let her take the piss.

8. Be hygienic. Don't leave your house a mess. Shower regularly and don't start pissing in bottles or in the sink.


If all else fails and she wants to break up/divorce you, promise her that you'll change your ways. If that still doesn't work, threaten her with revenge porn.

 

[urban genie]

Married 15 years, secret is we both love and hate each other at times, she calls me a (fat)**** and I tell her to fuck off sometimes, but we both also love each other, and forgive our own foibles, or to put it sensibly, we are honest with each other and both know despite pissing each other off at times we love each other and our kids, and accept life and love is not about being in sync all the time.


but fuck me she's annoying at times and so am I.

 

[Bill Walker]

I’m getting Married in August.

Then follow my tips mate and you'll find true happiness lol

 

[Tuearts right boot]

 

[aguero93:20]

I’m getting Married in August.

Tut tut, silly bugger.

 

[SWPISHOME]

That's more less us to a tee. I watch my shite while she goes to bed to read a book or she watches her shite and I'm in here on this. Seems I'm doing something right then.

F*cking hell that's me and the missus haha

 

[Fame Monster]

Rule number 1 is to make sure she knows from the early stages of the relationship that City comes first otherwise she's gonna been pissed off to hear you might not make the birth of your newborn son cos you've just sorted yourself out a ticket for Watford away.