Personally speaking, I'm not sure how I feel. I'm not sure I feel anything.
I just feel numb.
While I'm glad we pulled out, I just don't feel the same closeness and emotion for the club as I did last Saturday.
I just feel a kind of sadness, a sense of loss, of sense of drift and alienation.
One thing this episode has brought home is that football is about more than how many trophies you can win, money you can spend, players you can buy, the size of your revenue and the number of fans in the stadium and worldwide, it isn't all about tribalism, it isn't all about rivalry.. It's about integrity, it's about fairness, it's about morals, sporting and otherwise, it's about community, it's about togetherness, it's about belonging. All these values were challenged and the truth of what football has become was laid stark and bare for everyone to see.
Genuine football fans will forever, I think, be changed by this experience. Having experienced both sides of the football coin, being piss poor and shit, and also now being mega rich and one of the best teams in the world, they will evaluate what football and being a football fan means to them. They will come out the other side and experience and view football in a different way and perhaps become better football fans.
I'm sorry if I sound a bit melodramatic but something I can't put my finger on seems to have irrevocably changed inside me.