things that wind you up (non football)

[Meester Pees]

People who purposely change around people they are attracted to - for example, my friend at college is normally and happy and talkative person. But as soon as this girl he likes walks anywhere near him in lesson, he goes in some kind of fake depression about how 'difficult the work is' because he knows how much of a touchy feely person she is. She often calls me 'sweet heart' even though we barely talk to each other. Me and this girl aren't even friends on Facebook.

When I have no Vaseline.

16 year old girls that still like Justin Bieber.

People that think Justin Bieber is talented because he can play two chords on a guitar all the way through a song (and not change).

People who only like one kind of music.

People who think the only music I listen to is screamo.

People who judge music's quality by its popularity.

People who go everywhere on skateboard. Okay, I get it. You can ride a skateboard.

People who don't give you a proper argument when you're talking about music. They don't even try to convince you of their opinion and always resort to the same one liner that gets thousands of likes on Facebook in the comments feed. For example, I could lecture someone for hours about how screamo takes musicianship, emotion and real talent to create. But at the end of it, the one comment theyalways use, is 'yeah, well you can't even tell what they're saying. It's fucking shite 'cuz nobody's ever heard of them'. It's like the Rags and their 35 years shite.

People who use the word 'gay' as an insult.

People who say 'I'm not reading that essay' when you leave a slightly long comment on Facebook. Fucking ridiculous.

Matt Lucas and David Walliams.

English people who type 'mom.'

Having an empty wallet.

People who don't shut the fuck up about not having their EMA in their bank on a Friday.

People who try to act hard by saying that they "only come to college to get EMA." Oh fuck off. Of course you fucking do. Is that why you always do your homework and behave impeccably in lessons? Fuck off. You really are cunts who try to promote some kind of rock hard facade, when inside, they just come to college because they want to learn and have a better chance at a future.

When I'm late for college.

When I wake up at 7:30am, roll over, sleep, and then roll over agani only to find out that it's 9:30am and I'm late.

People who feel the need to go out of their way to say something about my jeans, or hair, or shoes. Wankers. Don't you have something better to do?

People who take a week off work to recover from a phone call they recieved to tell them that their child had tripped and fallen into some cushions, which caused a small bruise on the knee. Fucking idiots. No doubt they'll be paid for their week off as well.

People who claim compensation from the Local Council for tripping up over a mislodged paving stone. JUST FUCKING LOOK WHERE YOU'RE GOING!

Drivers who don't use their indicators.

Having copper coins and not the silver coin that adds up to the same amount.

People who mis-use the word 'ironic' in a sentence.

Generic emo pop.

The Daily Mail. The Sun. The Mirror. The Daily Express. The Star.

Fake tits.

Pink velvet tracksuits. Grey velvet tracksuits.

Grey jogging bottoms.

Liam Gallagher's voice in every song apart from 'Married with Children'.

Having flat Irn-Bru.

The picture of me that's on my college pass.

Cutting myself by accident when I'm shaving.

The **** ICT technicians at my college.

When I accidentally make typographical errors.

The broken string on my guitar!

Forgetting one thing when leaving the house, which means that I need to go all the way back to my house to get this one thing.

Getting comfortable as your bladder decides to tell you to pee.

Pissing in the toilet, finishing, and then needing a shit as you walk away.

People who tell me to take my hat off when I'm indoors. FUCK OFF. It's not doing any harm!


More to come.

Snigger

 

[MCFC BOB]

People who purposely change around people they are attracted to - for example, my friend at college is normally and happy and talkative person. But as soon as this girl he likes walks anywhere near him in lesson, he goes in some kind of fake depression about how 'difficult the work is' because he knows how much of a touchy feely person she is. She often calls me 'sweet heart' even though we barely talk to each other. Me and this girl aren't even friends on Facebook.

When I have no Vaseline.

16 year old girls that still like Justin Bieber.

People that think Justin Bieber is talented because he can play two chords on a guitar all the way through a song (and not change).

People who only like one kind of music.

People who think the only music I listen to is screamo.

People who judge music's quality by its popularity.

People who go everywhere on skateboard. Okay, I get it. You can ride a skateboard.

People who don't give you a proper argument when you're talking about music. They don't even try to convince you of their opinion and always resort to the same one liner that gets thousands of likes on Facebook in the comments feed. For example, I could lecture someone for hours about how screamo takes musicianship, emotion and real talent to create. But at the end of it, the one comment theyalways use, is 'yeah, well you can't even tell what they're saying. It's fucking shite 'cuz nobody's ever heard of them'. It's like the Rags and their 35 years shite.

People who use the word 'gay' as an insult.

People who say 'I'm not reading that essay' when you leave a slightly long comment on Facebook. Fucking ridiculous.

Matt Lucas and David Walliams.

English people who type 'mom.'

Having an empty wallet.

People who don't shut the fuck up about not having their EMA in their bank on a Friday.

People who try to act hard by saying that they "only come to college to get EMA." Oh fuck off. Of course you fucking do. Is that why you always do your homework and behave impeccably in lessons? Fuck off. You really are cunts who try to promote some kind of rock hard facade, when inside, they just come to college because they want to learn and have a better chance at a future.

When I'm late for college.

When I wake up at 7:30am, roll over, sleep, and then roll over agani only to find out that it's 9:30am and I'm late.

People who feel the need to go out of their way to say something about my jeans, or hair, or shoes. Wankers. Don't you have something better to do?

People who take a week off work to recover from a phone call they recieved to tell them that their child had tripped and fallen into some cushions, which caused a small bruise on the knee. Fucking idiots. No doubt they'll be paid for their week off as well.

People who claim compensation from the Local Council for tripping up over a mislodged paving stone. JUST FUCKING LOOK WHERE YOU'RE GOING!

Drivers who don't use their indicators.

Having copper coins and not the silver coin that adds up to the same amount.

People who mis-use the word 'ironic' in a sentence.

Generic emo pop.

The Daily Mail. The Sun. The Mirror. The Daily Express. The Star.

Fake tits.

Pink velvet tracksuits. Grey velvet tracksuits.

Grey jogging bottoms.

Liam Gallagher's voice in every song apart from 'Married with Children'.

Having flat Irn-Bru.

The picture of me that's on my college pass.

Cutting myself by accident when I'm shaving.

The **** ICT technicians at my college.

When I accidentally make typographical errors.

The broken string on my guitar!

Forgetting one thing when leaving the house, which means that I need to go all the way back to my house to get this one thing.

Getting comfortable as your bladder decides to tell you to pee.

Pissing in the toilet, finishing, and then needing a shit as you walk away.

People who tell me to take my hat off when I'm indoors. FUCK OFF. It's not doing any harm!


More to come.

Snigger

I have dry lips all the time. It's impossible to deal with.

 

[BimboBob]

People who don't wash their hands after going to the toilet.
People who spit.
People who walk past a rubbish bin and then chuck their crap on the floor.
People who don't clean up after their dogs.
People who wave money when queuing at the bar.
Fat birds who think black is slimming.
Trousers that hang off blokes knees. Why do i want to see your pants?
People who wear baseball caps at a 'jaunty' angle.
Old people.
Young people.
Chavs.
People who wear sun glasses indoors.
People who put their sun glasses on the top of their heads. Big cocks.
Women who contantly play with their hair.
Girl power. Twats.
Woman power as advertised on 'Loose Women'.
TV people who say 'everyone' is watching. I'm not you cunts.
People who say 'Tuuuune'.
Any song that has someone going 'woooaaa yeah yeah, oh baby' in it.
Radio 1. Bunch of big cunts.
Tony Blackburn. Smiling ****.
Women who have to show the world that they are up the duff by wearing no clothes.
Celebrities.
Green green grass of home. Wank.
Goths.
Linkin Park. Moaning cunts who can't make their mind up. Rock/rap/rock...cunts.
The new warehouse i'm currently in that has a 'no smoking on site at all and you can't go out to your car oh no so you have to lie about having a meeting just to have a fag' policy.

 

[Meester Pees]

People who don't wash their hands after going to the toilet.

Are you talking about after a shit or a piss?

Obviously one washes after a plop, but after a piss? Well, that's a bit effete isn't it?

 

[thewatchman]

When people don't put the lid back on the toothpaste. Bastards.

Or squeeze the tube from the middle

 

[Tuearts right boot]

who the fuck is Louie Spence? I've seen no end of threads/posts on here slating but I have no idea who he his. Someone on some sort of reality show? If so just say yes as I have no wish to know

An overly dramatic gay dancer who talks with a lisp and has the same posture and gait as Jessica Rabbit.
You hate him already don't you.

If you ran over the tart you'd reverse back over him just to make sure.Oh and that other tit sqeezing deviant Wan kock or whatever his name is

 

[stony]

Snigger

I have dry lips all the time. It's impossible to deal with.

Just spit on the shaft, it's what my mrs does.

 

[pinacolada]

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have now landed at Manchester Airport where the local time is 22.10 and the temperature is a mild 15 degrees. Please stay seated with your seatbelt fastened until the plane comes to a complete stop and the seatbelt signs go out"

Cue the clicks as people undo their seatbelts and rummage in the overhead lockers...

What the fuck is wrong with these people. You're not going to get out of the airport any quicker than anyone else- you've got to wait for them to open the plane doors, go through passport control, wait for your bags etc

SIT THE FUCK DOWN YOU COMPLETE SHITBAGS!

AAAARRRRGGGHHH

 

[law74]

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have now landed at Manchester Airport where the local time is 22.10 and the temperature is a mild 15 degrees. Please stay seated with your seatbelt fastened until the plane comes to a complete stop and the seatbelt signs go out"

Cue the clicks as people undo their seatbelts and rummage in the overhead lockers...

What the fuck is wrong with these people. You're not going to get out of the airport any quicker than anyone else- you've got to wait for them to open the plane doors, go through passport control, wait for your bags etc

SIT THE FUCK DOWN YOU COMPLETE SHITBAGS!

AAAARRRRGGGHHH

Very very true...............UNLESS you are on a budget airline and have no baggage, you are cutting it fine for the kick off & the flight has been delayed, when it is perfectly acceptable to demand to be the first one off the plane.

 

[MCFC BOB]

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have now landed at Manchester Airport where the local time is 22.10 and the temperature is a mild 15 degrees. Please stay seated with your seatbelt fastened until the plane comes to a complete stop and the seatbelt signs go out"

Cue the clicks as people undo their seatbelts and rummage in the overhead lockers...

What the fuck is wrong with these people. You're not going to get out of the airport any quicker than anyone else- you've got to wait for them to open the plane doors, go through passport control, wait for your bags etc

SIT THE FUCK DOWN YOU COMPLETE SHITBAGS!

AAAARRRRGGGHHH

Don't forget the obligatory 'WAAAAAAY' *CLAP CLAP CLAP* as the plane lands.