Things your missus does that drive you to despair

Plays By Sense Of Smell said:
Gggaaaahhhhhh!!! I share your pain. And so much milk! I'm sure it affects the ability of the teabag to leach tea.
Click to expand...

It most certainly does. It drastically alters the effects of an otherwise perfectly good semi permeable membrane.

Cleaning. Does it ever fucking end? She's up there right now, stomping around with the vacuum while I'm sitting in the basement trying to enjoy a cold beer and play with the cat.
 
She was going out tonight at half seven. I said "I'll drop you off after the match."

82 minutes in, she's sat on the arm of the couch with her coat on, saying she's sweating and asking if I'll be long.

I said after the match flower. If the linesman is struck down by a meteor and the game is halted for 4 hours, I'm not taking you until after the match.
 
5.05, we've finished work, paid the P/Ters, locked up, kick off in about 20 minutes with a bit of fucking about of the laptop.

" Can we just get a pint of milk on the way in"
" Better be quick sweety......"
"Why......"
"Dont ask stupid questions"

I'm outside the co op in the van, engine running, looking like a blag in the making.....

5.25
"What the fuck kept you...."
"Marie wanted a chat..............."

Just made it in the door...

" Are you taking the dogs out............."



" FUCK OFF "


She'd be late for her own funeral. ( Dont ask)
 
Puts water in the kettle, turns on the kettle. Goes and does something, no doubt, unbelievably important.
Kettle boils and then turns itself off.

I, fed up of waiting, go into the kitchen. Get cups out of the cupboard put tea, coffee, sugar in. Turn on kettle and, here's the radical bit, wait for the kettle to boil AND use the hot water to make a drink.

Wife turns up later to a now cold drink of coffee and moans it's cold and has to make another one
 
Barcon said:
It most certainly does. It drastically alters the effects of an otherwise perfectly good semi permeable membrane.

Cleaning. Does it ever fucking end? She's up there right now, stomping around with the vacuum while I'm sitting in the basement trying to enjoy a cold beer and play with the cat.
Click to expand...

Selfish bastard there. How can you enjoy a beer with a fucking vacuum cleaner blaring?

Bang on about tea as well lads. I once went out with a woman who did that to her own tea and I thought.

This will never fucking last.
 
citykev28 said:
She was going out tonight at half seven. I said "I'll drop you off after the match."

82 minutes in, she's sat on the arm of the couch with her coat on, saying she's sweating and asking if I'll be long.

I said after the match flower. If the linesman is struck down by a meteor and the game is halted for 4 hours, I'm not taking you until after the match.
Click to expand...

I got a similar a few years back.

You've seen most of it.

I just looked at her and thought.
Who the fuck are you?

Needless to say I didn't do what she wanted either.
 
When I was married to that horrible bastard who lived in my house, we were going out one evening. She turned on all the fancy lights under the cupboards in the kitchen and little lamps in obscure places all round the house, on the way out of the door. What are you doing that for, we are going out? Because it looks nice when we come home, she said.
I think my jaw dropped in amazement. Well you stay in the car for a minute when we get back and Ill nip in and turn all the fuckers on for you first.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Unread Posts

Don't have an account? Register now and see fewer ads!

SIGN UP
Back
Top
✖
  AdBlock Detected
Bluemoon relies on advertising to pay our hosting fees. Please support the site by disabling your ad blocking software to help keep the forum sustainable. Thanks.