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Things your missus does that drive you to despair
- Thread starter Cellarite
- Start date
Uncle Wally One Ball
Well-Known Member
I dont miss that shitGoes out for the day and is happy with everyone. Then on the way home suddenly turns into thunder and claims everything is fine. Fuck knows
Fucking baffles meI dont miss that shit
Magicpole
Well-Known Member
I was watching the game today and she is flaffing about trying to pretend she doesn't want to embed an axe in my skull.
I obviously ignore this as any comment, and I mean any fucking thing I say, will be turned into an argument. I'm a pro. Never looked at her once.
She disappears. I watch the game. After which I put my boots on to go up to Dunbar to a music festival thing with her.
Can't find her. Thought I had knocked it off and got a link for the comedy hour, Rangers v Hearts.
I go into the spare room to see if the cat is in and she is, lying beside mrs magic. I left her to sleep.
Two hours later she wakes and starts on me for ruining her Saturday by not waking her up.
Waking her out of a sleep without a tazer or a bat is not advisable. She just went to bed there and I'm watching MOTD in absolute peace.
She goes to sleep but it's my fault.
Answers on a postcard as to how the fuck that's even possible.
Crackpot.
I obviously ignore this as any comment, and I mean any fucking thing I say, will be turned into an argument. I'm a pro. Never looked at her once.
She disappears. I watch the game. After which I put my boots on to go up to Dunbar to a music festival thing with her.
Can't find her. Thought I had knocked it off and got a link for the comedy hour, Rangers v Hearts.
I go into the spare room to see if the cat is in and she is, lying beside mrs magic. I left her to sleep.
Two hours later she wakes and starts on me for ruining her Saturday by not waking her up.
Waking her out of a sleep without a tazer or a bat is not advisable. She just went to bed there and I'm watching MOTD in absolute peace.
She goes to sleep but it's my fault.
Answers on a postcard as to how the fuck that's even possible.
Crackpot.
Innsbruckblue
Well-Known Member
You got meIs that your way of telling us your Mrs is 16.
Patientman63
Well-Known Member
We have a stainless steel laundry hamper for a bin in the kitchen. I shit you not. We have this cos she bought it at Costco thinking it was a bin. Despite the packaging having "laundry hamper" written all over it. And out of stubbornness, she refuses to change it, she thinks it look great. This actually isn't the problem, if i was to go into all the absolute shite she has bought over the years, it would fill pages.
No, the problem is the plastic bin liner. She can remove a full one no mithers, ties a nice knot in the end to close it off, and drops it in the grey bin outside. All good. Will she put a new fresh liner in the bin? Will she bollocks. So a while later along trundles me with a plate of leftovers from tea, scrape it all off into the bin, only to look inside and see no liner, and all stuff splattered about at the bottom, including stuff she's thrown in herself. And as it's a laundry hamper and not a bin, it has small holes punched all around it, lovely for clogging up with bin shite. The amount of times i've had the bin out in the garden with a kettle of boiling water and a brush to rinse the f*cking thing out....
No, the problem is the plastic bin liner. She can remove a full one no mithers, ties a nice knot in the end to close it off, and drops it in the grey bin outside. All good. Will she put a new fresh liner in the bin? Will she bollocks. So a while later along trundles me with a plate of leftovers from tea, scrape it all off into the bin, only to look inside and see no liner, and all stuff splattered about at the bottom, including stuff she's thrown in herself. And as it's a laundry hamper and not a bin, it has small holes punched all around it, lovely for clogging up with bin shite. The amount of times i've had the bin out in the garden with a kettle of boiling water and a brush to rinse the f*cking thing out....
Magicpole
Well-Known Member
We have a stainless steel laundry hamper for a bin in the kitchen. I shit you not. We have this cos she bought it at Costco thinking it was a bin. Despite the packaging having "laundry hamper" written all over it. And out of stubbornness, she refuses to change it, she thinks it look great. This actually isn't the problem, if i was to go into all the absolute shite she has bought over the years, it would fill pages.
No, the problem is the plastic bin liner. She can remove a full one no mithers, ties a nice knot in the end to close it off, and drops it in the grey bin outside. All good. Will she put a new fresh liner in the bin? Will she bollocks. So a while later along trundles me with a plate of leftovers from tea, scrape it all off into the bin, only to look inside and see no liner, and all stuff splattered about at the bottom, including stuff she's thrown in herself. And as it's a laundry hamper and not a bin, it has small holes punched all around it, lovely for clogging up with bin shite. The amount of times i've had the bin out in the garden with a kettle of boiling water and a brush to rinse the f*cking thing out....
You need to find a psychiatrist that can help her. If you find one pm me their fucking number would you?
dronefromsector7G
Well-Known Member
So you put food in the rubbish bin??We have a stainless steel laundry hamper for a bin in the kitchen. I shit you not. We have this cos she bought it at Costco thinking it was a bin. Despite the packaging having "laundry hamper" written all over it. And out of stubbornness, she refuses to change it, she thinks it look great. This actually isn't the problem, if i was to go into all the absolute shite she has bought over the years, it would fill pages.
No, the problem is the plastic bin liner. She can remove a full one no mithers, ties a nice knot in the end to close it off, and drops it in the grey bin outside. All good. Will she put a new fresh liner in the bin? Will she bollocks. So a while later along trundles me with a plate of leftovers from tea, scrape it all off into the bin, only to look inside and see no liner, and all stuff splattered about at the bottom, including stuff she's thrown in herself. And as it's a laundry hamper and not a bin, it has small holes punched all around it, lovely for clogging up with bin shite. The amount of times i've had the bin out in the garden with a kettle of boiling water and a brush to rinse the f*cking thing out....
No fucking sympathy.
sir baconface
Well-Known Member
Now I understand why there are so many miserable bastards on Bluemoon ;)
Magicpole
Well-Known Member
Now I understand why there are so many miserable bastards on Bluemoon ;)
To be fair, I think being a miserable bastard was a trait I had long before my involvement with partners.
I think I can say the rest of you cunts fall into that category too.
Just an observation, but I think an indepth analysis would bear me out.