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Things your missus does that drive you to despair
- Thread starter Cellarite
- Start date
Cellarite
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 12 Jan 2010
- Messages
- 26,010
- Team supported
- Manchester City
.....and thinking I've saved an our thanks to the boy's rugby training being cancelled, thought I'd use the time to go and pay the mechanic for the work he did for the MOT. Drove about four miles and pulled up at the bank machine. Parked the car, grabbed my wallet from between the seats and went towards the cash machine. Opened the wallet - no card. I got back in the car and rang her. "I've just drove from Will's rugby to pay Carl for the car but my card isn't in my wallet." She calmly responded with "Oh yes. I took it yesterday so I could buy some holiday clothes in town."
Later, I'm in the loft climbing over the frankly fucking ridiculous amount of Christmas decorations we've accumulated over the years to get to the toys we've said we'll sort out this weekend. "Do you need me upstairs at all?" she asks, "Yes, I can pass some stuff to you so I'm not getting up and down every two minutes." I get to the very back of the loft and can hear her descending the stairs and muttering something. I get a bin bag full of cuddly toys and negotiate my way back past the huge Father Christmas and Snowman that cause me such misery on the first weekend of every December until after a few lost hours of trying to make them stable, mock me by hanging over the back porch due to a light wind, peering through the living room window upside down at me. I get to the loft hatch and she's nowhere to be seen. Much to my dismay, neither are the step ladders. I bawl down "HAVE YOU MOVED THE LADDERS?!?" I can hear her singing in the kitchen. "Oh yes. I moved them out of the way when I carried that bag of clothes down." She must have been so jubilant with her achievement of moving a bag that she forgot all about me being stuck in the roof of the house with no way of getting down without breaking bones.
I'm tidying up the lower half of the house and come into the living room. "Are the boys deliberately trying to wind me up?" I ask. "Why?" she says. "Both of their trainers are in the middle of the living room floor. Not only are they not putting them in the shoe cupboard, they've now taken to leaving them in the most bizarre places." She walks in to investigate. Clearly I must be making it up. "No, I brought them in off the line when it started raining. I've left them there so the radiator dries them." Not only is it mid-August, therefore the radiator won't be going on, the shoes are about three yards from the fucking thing anyway. Does she move them nearer? Does she fuck. She waltzes back into the kitchen and leaves me to move them.
I've got a mate coming later to watch some football and have a few beers whilst she's at work. I'll put a curry on and the three of us will eat when she gets home. "There's two onion bhajis in the freezer. Do I need to get anymore from asda?" Well considering there's two of them and three of us, I'd guess so.
I'm sat here writing this and can look over at where she's took her phone off charge and instead of taking the charger out of the socket and putting it away, has taken more effort to loop the wire over the light switch and left the connection dangling........
Later, I'm in the loft climbing over the frankly fucking ridiculous amount of Christmas decorations we've accumulated over the years to get to the toys we've said we'll sort out this weekend. "Do you need me upstairs at all?" she asks, "Yes, I can pass some stuff to you so I'm not getting up and down every two minutes." I get to the very back of the loft and can hear her descending the stairs and muttering something. I get a bin bag full of cuddly toys and negotiate my way back past the huge Father Christmas and Snowman that cause me such misery on the first weekend of every December until after a few lost hours of trying to make them stable, mock me by hanging over the back porch due to a light wind, peering through the living room window upside down at me. I get to the loft hatch and she's nowhere to be seen. Much to my dismay, neither are the step ladders. I bawl down "HAVE YOU MOVED THE LADDERS?!?" I can hear her singing in the kitchen. "Oh yes. I moved them out of the way when I carried that bag of clothes down." She must have been so jubilant with her achievement of moving a bag that she forgot all about me being stuck in the roof of the house with no way of getting down without breaking bones.
I'm tidying up the lower half of the house and come into the living room. "Are the boys deliberately trying to wind me up?" I ask. "Why?" she says. "Both of their trainers are in the middle of the living room floor. Not only are they not putting them in the shoe cupboard, they've now taken to leaving them in the most bizarre places." She walks in to investigate. Clearly I must be making it up. "No, I brought them in off the line when it started raining. I've left them there so the radiator dries them." Not only is it mid-August, therefore the radiator won't be going on, the shoes are about three yards from the fucking thing anyway. Does she move them nearer? Does she fuck. She waltzes back into the kitchen and leaves me to move them.
I've got a mate coming later to watch some football and have a few beers whilst she's at work. I'll put a curry on and the three of us will eat when she gets home. "There's two onion bhajis in the freezer. Do I need to get anymore from asda?" Well considering there's two of them and three of us, I'd guess so.
I'm sat here writing this and can look over at where she's took her phone off charge and instead of taking the charger out of the socket and putting it away, has taken more effort to loop the wire over the light switch and left the connection dangling........
Innsbruckblue
Well-Known Member
Mrs Innsbruck and I are currently doing a road trip through Italy, Croatia and Slovenia. I have to do all the driving cos she still hasn't passed her test. Anyway, she seems to really enjoy telling me the speed limit on every stretch of road we drive, then informing of how I am driving slightly over said speed limit.
I threatened to leave her at the last border crossing.
I threatened to leave her at the last border crossing.
Tuearts right boot
Well-Known Member
Bought a mid life crisis/ penis extention about a month ago and decided to take the Mrs out in it. Full twat mode....roof down. Then the comments, It's to windy it's blowing my hair in my eyes. The sun's in my eyes. Aren't we a bit to low. You're going to fast. Did you really need to overtake that tractor..........Priceless.
Mrs Innsbruck and I are currently doing a road trip through Italy, Croatia and Slovenia. I have to do all the driving cos she still hasn't passed her test. Anyway, she seems to really enjoy telling me the speed limit on every stretch of road we drive, then informing of how I am driving slightly over said speed limit.
I threatened to leave her at the last border crossing.
This could be a plotline for Hostel3, or 4, can't remember how many there were.
Tuearts right boot
Well-Known Member
Mrs Innsbruck and I are currently doing a road trip through Italy, Croatia and Slovenia. I have to do all the driving cos she still hasn't passed her test. Anyway, she seems to really enjoy telling me the speed limit on every stretch of road we drive, then informing of how I am driving slightly over said speed limit.
I threatened to leave her at the last border crossing.
Is that your way of telling us your Mrs is 16.
Barcon
Well-Known Member
Goes out for the day and is happy with everyone. Then on the way home suddenly turns into thunder and claims everything is fine. Fuck knows
Her piece on the side stood her up?
Nah that would be me pissed offHer piece on the side stood her up?
or you told her what happens in the next episode of Line of Duty.Nah that would be me pissed off