Things your missus does that drive you to despair

[mat]

She can't stop talking about my mates massive dick.


Hang on a fucking minute...

 

[Bill Walker]

I can't lie in bed with my right ear on the pillow as I can hear my mechanical heart valve clicking as my heart beats, it drives me crazy, I don't like hearing my own heart beat... she says "don't sleep on your back because when you do you snore" that leaves my left side to sleep on, fucking hell ...that soon gets really tedious.
I end up in the spare room on my back haha

 

[BeerIsTheBest]

My lovely wife is a hoarder. Having lost both my parents in the last 2 years and as a consequence taken in boxes and boxes of ornaments and stuff following their house clearances i decided to make a concerted effort to de-clutter. The phrases ‘xxxx might want that,’ ‘we should keep that just in case,’ and ’that could come in handy when …..’ are my particular annoyances.

I have fought a concerted, crafty tactical battle and my clear out has finally reached my wife’s wardrobes. By god there is literally tonnes of crap, including old clothes with the sales labels still attached. We are lucky to have four bedrooms and there are just two of us in the house. I have one wardrobe. Every other available wardrobe, cupboard and space is stuffed with the wife’s gear.

Why does a women need over 30 handbags and 16 pairs of boots? It’s beyond me.

If anyone has any ideas short of a catastrophic house fire (which I have considered) I would welcome the contribution.

 

[mexico1970]

My lovely wife is a hoarder. Having lost both my parents in the last 2 years and as a consequence taken in boxes and boxes of ornaments and stuff following their house clearances i decided to make a concerted effort to de-clutter. The phrases ‘xxxx might want that,’ ‘we should keep that just in case,’ and ’that could come in handy when …..’ are my particular annoyances.

I have fought a concerted, crafty tactical battle and my clear out has finally reached my wife’s wardrobes. By god there is literally tonnes of crap, including old clothes with the sales labels still attached. We are lucky to have four bedrooms and there are just two of us in the house. I have one wardrobe. Every other available wardrobe, cupboard and space is stuffed with the wife’s gear.

Why does a women need over 30 handbags and 16 pairs of boots? It’s beyond me.

If anyone has any ideas short of a catastrophic house fire (which I have considered) I would welcome the contribution.

My house is a catastrophe for the very same reason, she's started to fill the garden up now.

 

[doots]

Shape shifts.

 

[BeerIsTheBest]

My house is a catastrophe for the very same reason, she's started to fill the garden up now.

Hey Mexico 70. That World Cup gifted me my love of football. One tactic I have used with limited success is to go round and collect everything that is duplicated be it cocking scent holders, candle holders, ’spare sheets just in case’ or the tens of used and cleaned glass jars and lay them out on a table. It drives her nuts and hours of silence can result. Outside the shed and annexe is mine. Any clutter goes straight to the tip or charity shop. It’s a war!

 

[stonerblue]

My Mrs has a sip of water and then takes a tablet. Madness

 

[LGWIO]

My lovely wife is a hoarder. Having lost both my parents in the last 2 years and as a consequence taken in boxes and boxes of ornaments and stuff following their house clearances i decided to make a concerted effort to de-clutter. The phrases ‘xxxx might want that,’ ‘we should keep that just in case,’ and ’that could come in handy when …..’ are my particular annoyances.

I have fought a concerted, crafty tactical battle and my clear out has finally reached my wife’s wardrobes. By god there is literally tonnes of crap, including old clothes with the sales labels still attached. We are lucky to have four bedrooms and there are just two of us in the house. I have one wardrobe. Every other available wardrobe, cupboard and space is stuffed with the wife’s gear.

Why does a women need over 30 handbags and 16 pairs of boots? It’s beyond me.

If anyone has any ideas short of a catastrophic house fire (which I have considered) I would welcome the contribution.

That sounded so familiar.
Prior to doing some decorating I emptied out all wardrobes and found so many clothes still with cellophane on and price tickets. Shoes!!!! I took them all out and lined them up on the landing...she had 94 different items of footwear
94!!!!!!
At least shamed her in to getting rid of about 5 pairs though. I think it must be a plan to spread items out across different wardrobes so that they think they wont be noticed.

 

[Uncle Wally One Ball]

That sounded so familiar.
Prior to doing some decorating I emptied out all wardrobes and found so many clothes still with cellophane on and price tickets. Shoes!!!! I took them all out and lined them up on the landing...she had 94 different items of footwear
94!!!!!!
At least shamed her in to getting rid of about 5 pairs though. I think it must be a plan to spread items out across different wardrobes so that they think they wont be noticed.

They love spending money, yet are first to bleat when times get tough and cash is tight.

 

[Fiftyyearsandcounting]

My ex used 4 out our 5 wardrobes, some filled with clothes she never wore. I told her to put all the hangers facing the same way. After wearing something, put the hangar back the other way. In a year's time you can see any items unused. Worked for about 5 weeks!