Things your missus does that drive you to despair

[Big mals fedora]

Takes 40 minutes to tell a 2 minute story.

Amen brother

 

[The Black Shed]

Has lunch then puts about ten items in the dishwasher on a two hour cycle. Maddening.

 

[DavidWhitesBoots]

Two minutes into any film, picks up her phone then quizzes me about what's going on

 

[bluetonium]

'We need to do a tip run'

Yet somehow 'we' will not be sorting through the spiders and rotten wood, old chairs and extra rolls of carpet, wallpaper and underlay that 'we' decided 'we' should keep a decade back, just in case.

'We' won't be ruining our clothing loading up the car, playing garbage Jenga to get it all in and then having to disinfect and vacuum the car boot because it smells like cat piss and decay.

'We' also don't have to chance dealing with the one recycling technician who insists you take those nails out of said chairs and dispose of them in wood and metal, accordingly.

'We' will however be waiting for the return of the car with a bag full of trashy romcom paperbacks and some size 10 jeans that the dream has finally been given up on, all ready to go to the charity shop.

'We' will also then head to said charity shop a few days later to snoop on the asking price of our old crap, before filling up two more bags with somebody else's crap and bringing it back home. Now that's recycling.

Good job one of us had plans this weekend. ..

 

[MCFC_ Phil]

If your wife’s 19 years old, that would make perfect sense.

No she's 53. What does that mean?

 

[chesterbells]

No she's 53. What does that mean?

Young at heart, maybe?!

 

[Xhavenjoe]

Takes 40 minutes to tell a 2 minute story.

Mine asks me how work was and I say ok and how was you day
She rambles on for ages and gets annoyed when I'm not paying attention.

 

[Uncle Wally One Ball]

'We need to do a tip run'

Yet somehow 'we' will not be sorting through the spiders and rotten wood, old chairs and extra rolls of carpet, wallpaper and underlay that 'we' decided 'we' should keep a decade back, just in case.

'We' won't be ruining our clothing loading up the car, playing garbage Jenga to get it all in and then having to disinfect and vacuum the car boot because it smells like cat piss and decay.

'We' also don't have to chance dealing with the one recycling technician who insists you take those nails out of said chairs and dispose of them in wood and metal, accordingly.

'We' will however be waiting for the return of the car with a bag full of trashy romcom paperbacks and some size 10 jeans that the dream has finally been given up on, all ready to go to the charity shop.

'We' will also then head to said charity shop a few days later to snoop on the asking price of our old crap, before filling up two more bags with somebody else's crap and bringing it back home. Now that's recycling.

Good job one of us had plans this weekend. ..

Fuck all that. Nobody made you stay married

 

[Uwe Already]

Moves everything then says ive not had it.drives me mad things disapear then turn up 12 months later.And when she is shopping she picks stuff up and just holds it for ages winds me up i say for god sake put it in the trolley!:))

oddly I “lost” my car keys last year, usually hang them on a key rack, but they weren’t there one day. After 3 months of using the spare, I started thinking I should get a new one made, when the lovely lady put on her coat, which she hadn’t worn for a while, only to find my keys in her pocket - wouldn’t have minded apart from the shit giving and piss taking about me being incompetent and unable to look after my own keys. Never did get an acknowledgment that it might not have been my fault after all…

 

[Millwallawayveteran1988]

Amen brother

My mother in law takes an hour and a half!