Things your missus does that drive you to despair

[Millwallawayveteran1988]

Has lunch then puts about ten items in the dishwasher on a two hour cycle. Maddening.

And turns it on at 8.30 pm just when you want a bit of peace!

 

[Newman Noggs]

oddly I “lost” my car keys last year, usually hang them on a key rack, but they weren’t there one day. After 3 months of using the spare, I started thinking I should get a new one made, when the lovely lady put on her coat, which she hadn’t worn for a while, only to find my keys in her pocket - wouldn’t have minded apart from the shit giving and piss taking about me being incompetent and unable to look after my own keys. Never did get an acknowledgment that it might not have been my fault after all…

That reminds me of the time we went to Turkey. Just before we left the hotel to come home, she asked me where the house key was. I said I hadn't seen it. She said it was in the valuables safe which I had emptied. Cue much searching, much seething and she wasn't talking to me by the time we got to the airport. Like most blokes, I was just nonplussed, I couldn't even remember seeing it.

It turned up exactly a year later in her passport holder.

 

[BimboBob]

No she's 53. What does that mean?

She dreams of bring banged by a load of young lads.

 

[talkativesprout]

She dreams of bring banged by a load of young lads.

Dont we all?

 

[flook]

oddly I “lost” my car keys last year, usually hang them on a key rack, but they weren’t there one day. After 3 months of using the spare, I started thinking I should get a new one made, when the lovely lady put on her coat, which she hadn’t worn for a while, only to find my keys in her pocket - wouldn’t have minded apart from the shit giving and piss taking about me being incompetent and unable to look after my own keys. Never did get an acknowledgment that it might not have been my fault after all…

There is never ever an acknowledgement of guilt, should one ever occur from any woman on the planet, i'm convinced it would herald the rapture

 

[Groke]

"This house is a tip" when my wife walks in after a long day!
It usually means there's a knife out of the drawer or the dishwashers not shut! FFS

Can identify with that - a pair of trainers by the door and the house is a mess apparently

 

[Bradley82]

Gets items out of cupboards, uses them and never puts them away. She brushed the dogs yesterday and put the bag of brushes on the floor outside the cupboard when she'd finished. This means she'd walked over twenty metres and stopped 2cm short of completing the job. Put salt n vinegar on her chips and left the containers under the wall Unit where they're kept. In fact she puts nearly everything NEAR to where its actually kept. The pile of clothes outside her wardrobe is almost as great as what's inside. Worst of all is when she makes a meal from scratch, there's nowhere to put the plates to dish it out. When I suggest that once she's used the individual ingredients she could simply put them away to create space its met with a look of incredulity.

 

[Deleted member 77198]

…I love being single!

 

[PannickAtTheDisco]

Gets items out of cupboards, uses them and never puts them away. She brushed the dogs yesterday and put the bag of brushes on the floor outside the cupboard when she'd finished. This means she'd walked over twenty metres and stopped 2cm short of completing the job. Put salt n vinegar on her chips and left the containers under the wall Unit where they're kept. In fact she puts nearly everything NEAR to where its actually kept. The pile of clothes outside her wardrobe is almost as great as what's inside. Worst of all is when she makes a meal from scratch, there's nowhere to put the plates to dish it out. When I suggest that once she's used the individual ingredients she could simply put them away to create space its met with a look of incredulity.

because I assume you put them away for her?

 

[Gogootz]

She drapes the dishcloth over the tap and makes it look like Mother Theresa