Touring caravans

big phil said:
Having read all the replies OP there are a couple of things I would point out...
If you passed your test before ‘97 you have acquired or ‘grandad’ rights to tow a trailer, so no need to take the B+E (I think) test. Ignore the 750kg limit, that’s for unbraked trailers, the caravan has brakes. Try to ensure the caravan is max 85% of the weight of the car, you can go higher but it can be a bit of an insurance grey area in the event of an accident. Depending on the age of the van it shouldn’t need a stabiliser, these are now within the hitch.
oh and the best campsites are in France and Spain :)
Click to expand...
Cheers phil @Blue Mist hasn’t got a clue that fucker doesn’t know what day it is:) just took my car for the tow bar 12 pin fitted etc £580 robbing cunts 1985 passed test old **** now pal thanks for the advise @yeseye is taking me for driving lessons on towing at £2.50 an hour thought it wasn’t bad
 
Indaparkside said:
Cheers phil @Blue Mist hasn’t got a clue that fucker doesn’t know what day it is:) just took my car for the tow bar 12 pin fitted etc £580 robbing cunts 1985 passed test old **** now pal thanks for the advise @yeseye is taking me for driving lessons on towing at £2.50 an hour thought it wasn’t bad
Click to expand...
No worries pal, give me a shout if there’s owt else. You’ll have a great time when you’re pitched up but if yer owt like me you’ll fucking hate towing it. And I drive artics for a living!
 
Used to have a touring caravan...never again.
It all starts so easy and cheap.

Then you realise you know nothing about towing/caravanning.
I don't mean the dragging around bit.

First off is the "nose weight". Get that wrong and you will be a nodding donkey.
In English that means you have to load the caravan up in a way that the tow hitch is a certain weight.
To heavy or too light brings big problems.

So you buy a nose weight scale.

Then you buy a anti snake stabiliser system. It only takes one severe wiggle to justify the price!

Then you buy little pads for the caravan levelling legs so they don't sink into the ground.

Then you have to buy little ramps to adjust the caravan on uneven ground.

The wife then wants an awning to attach to the side. No not that cheap one, yes the really expensive one.
Oh and add in a awning floor liner. Table chairs and heater.

Then you need a little step to get into the caravan.

Gas?, did i mention buy some gas?

Then there is the portable satellite dish/TV aerial.

Next up will be a caravan motor mover. You don't really need one, but boy it sure does impress your neighbours twice a year when it moves your caravan ten feet off the drive.

There are many many more things than listed above, but you get the gist.

Then the thing can sit on your drive day after day. It just gets dirty so you have to keep cleaning it. Problem is it isn't normal dirt. Caravans develop weird "black streaks". They are a bastard to get off and reappear just days later anyway!

When you finally have all the gear and you arrive at you caravan park, the fun begins right?
No, you will spend the next few hours levelling/adjusting and fettling the thing. Then she will insist the awning is put up. Basically forget the first day. You will be knackered from towing and setting up.

And then it will happen........you WILL have forgotten something vital.
It will normally be the blue hook up lead to connect your van to the electric supply.
I think i aged ten years in the two years we owned one.

Honestly, just pay for a static or go abroad in a hotel. I never moan about the price any more!
 
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The Almondsbury caravan park is open for business this afternoon plenty of shed draggers camped up for the weekend just had to fight my way through them all . Loads of cars with surfboards on as well , if any of them make Devon and Cornwall the RNLI gonna be busy !!!
 
fulabeer said:
Used to have a touring caravan...never again.
It all starts so easy and cheap.

Then you realise you know nothing about towing/caravanning.
I don't mean the dragging around bit.

First off is the "Nose weight". Get that wrong and you will be a nodding donkey.
In English that means you have to load the caravan up in a way that the tow hitch is a certain weight.
To heavy or too light brings big problems.

So you buy a nose weight scale.

Then you buy a anti snake stabiliser system. It only takes one severe wiggle to justify the price!

Then you buy little pads for the caravan levelling legs so they don't sink into the ground.

Then you have to buy little ramps to adjust the caravan on uneven ground.

The wife then wants an awning to attach to the side. No not that cheap one, yes the really expensive one.
Oh and add in a awning floor liner. Table chairs and heater.

Then you need a little step to get into the caravan.

Gas?, did i mention buy some gas?

Then there is the portable satellite dish/TV aerial.

Next up will be a caravan motor mover. You don't really need one, but boy it sure does impress your neighbours twice a year when it moves your caravan ten feet off the drive.

There are many many more things than listed above, but you get the gist.

Then the thing can sit on your drive day after day. It just gets dirty so you have to keep cleaning it. Problem is it isn't normal dirt. Caravans develop weird "black streaks". They are a bastard to get off and reappear just days later anyway!

When you finally have all the gear and you arrive at you caravan park, the fun begins right?
No, you will spend the next few hours levelling/adjusting and fettling the thing. Then she will insist the awning is put up. Basically forget the first day. You will be knackered from towing and setting up.

And then it will happen........you WILL have forgotten something vital.
It will normally be the blue hook up lead to connect your van to the electric supply.
I think i aged ten years in the two years we owned one.

Honestly, just pay for a static or go abroad in a hotel. I never moan about the price any more!
Click to expand...
and then you can talk about it to your new best friends, Kenneth and Dierdre and Patch, the one eyed jack russel terrier that shags everything, who have done exactly the same thing and pitched up 6 feet away from you.
 
Tuearts right boot said:
and then you can talk about it to your new best friends, Kenneth and Dierdre and Patch, the one eyed jack russel terrier that shags everything, who have done exactly the same thing and pitched up 6 feet away from you.
Click to expand...
Ken and dierdre? Where you camping, coronation street?
 
fulabeer said:
Used to have a touring caravan...never again.
It all starts so easy and cheap.

Then you realise you know nothing about towing/caravanning.
I don't mean the dragging around bit.

First off is the "Nose weight". Get that wrong and you will be a nodding donkey.
In English that means you have to load the caravan up in a way that the tow hitch is a certain weight.
To heavy or too light brings big problems.

So you buy a nose weight scale.

Then you buy a anti snake stabiliser system. It only takes one severe wiggle to justify the price!

Then you buy little pads for the caravan levelling legs so they don't sink into the ground.

Then you have to buy little ramps to adjust the caravan on uneven ground.

The wife then wants an awning to attach to the side. No not that cheap one, yes the really expensive one.
Oh and add in a awning floor liner. Table chairs and heater.

Then you need a little step to get into the caravan.

Gas?, did i mention buy some gas?

Then there is the portable satellite dish/TV aerial.

Next up will be a caravan motor mover. You don't really need one, but boy it sure does impress your neighbours twice a year when it moves your caravan ten feet off the drive.

There are many many more things than listed above, but you get the gist.

Then the thing can sit on your drive day after day. It just gets dirty so you have to keep cleaning it. Problem is it isn't normal dirt. Caravans develop weird "black streaks". They are a bastard to get off and reappear just days later anyway!

When you finally have all the gear and you arrive at you caravan park, the fun begins right?
No, you will spend the next few hours levelling/adjusting and fettling the thing. Then she will insist the awning is put up. Basically forget the first day. You will be knackered from towing and setting up.

And then it will happen........you WILL have forgotten something vital.
It will normally be the blue hook up lead to connect your van to the electric supply.
I think i aged ten years in the two years we owned one.

Honestly, just pay for a static or go abroad in a hotel. I never moan about the price any more!
Click to expand...

But some weirdos like travelling far and sitting on a chair on grass, now normal folk realise they are spending a lot of money when they have a perfectly good garden and neighbours to chat to. But no the pull of chatting to other weirdos is too strong.

Why spend your money in a nice restaurant or pub, maybe a bargain hotel. No no no spend money on a claustrophobic shit hole, crap in a bucket and chat to some arsehole called Colin.

If it pisses down you can play scrabble, living the dream.
 
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southamptonblue said:
Bloody shed draggers!! ....FYI there is nowhere worth seeing, and no nice walks in Hampshire, the New Forest is so overrated......so no need to drag a shed down here! ;)
Click to expand...
Ha. We'll be down that way soon, camping near Wareham. Only towing a trailer though. Love that area, you can't keep it for yourself you know-:). Might even wear my City shirt!
 
Part 2:

Did i mentioned caravanning is literally "taking the piss"? (and shit)

Yes, you have to spend part of your day filling a weird round tub with clean water and then rolling it back to your van.
Then after use, it then fills an even weirder shaped tub which you then wheel back to the drains.

Then there is the poop run.
Basically you shit into a square bucket full of blue liquid. When this is full, everybody expects that you will do something about it.
This involves loading said shit bucket onto a little cart. Rolling it over to a shit hole.
Then pouring said contents down the shithole whilst trying to not look and smell said contents. Get this wrong and the said contents are now accompanied with the contents of your stomach...
 
fulabeer said:
Part 2:

Did i mentioned caravanning is literally "taking the piss"? (and shit)

Yes, you have to spend part of your day filling a weird round tub with clean water and then rolling it back to your van.
Then after use, it then fills an even weirder shaped tub which you then wheel back to the drains.

Then there is the poop run.
Basically you shit into a square bucket full of blue liquid. When this is full, everybody expects that you will do something about it.
This involves loading said shit bucket onto a little cart. Rolling it over to a shit hole.
Then pouring said contents down the shithole whilst trying to not look and smell said contents. Get this wrong and the said contents are now accompanied with the contents of your stomach...
Click to expand...
Sounds like what you do after a night in Mary d’s
 
Bump! My good lady has decided that since we haven’t had a holiday in 10 years we are buying a caravan. We have a ford turneo (9 seater transit) that she’s had a tow bar fitted to, and now we’re on the lookout for a caravan-I’m lost and scared you don’t seem to get much for the money. I bought a damp meter and that’s already saved us on a couple of vans, but I’m losing my will to live…
 
fulabeer said:
Part 2:

Did i mentioned caravanning is literally "taking the piss"? (and shit)

Yes, you have to spend part of your day filling a weird round tub with clean water and then rolling it back to your van.
Then after use, it then fills an even weirder shaped tub which you then wheel back to the drains.

Then there is the poop run.
Basically you shit into a square bucket full of blue liquid. When this is full, everybody expects that you will do something about it.
This involves loading said shit bucket onto a little cart. Rolling it over to a shit hole.
Then pouring said contents down the shithole whilst trying to not look and smell said contents. Get this wrong and the said contents are now accompanied with the contents of your stomach...
Click to expand...
2 really great days when you buy a caravan, the day you buy it and the day you sell it :)
 
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