It's almost impossible to drive anywhere now without falling foul of some ruse or hair-brained scheme designed to raise cash or damage your car.
Driving to London you pass though Low Emission Zones and Ultra Low Emission Zones, the signs are quite intimidating especially when you have no idea if you are compliant or not. When you get there you have to avoid the Congestion Zone, or make sure you pay up pronto. And woe betide anyone entering a bus lane to make a left turn early, even though the fuckers won't give way to you when you do reach the 3 metre stretch that is kindly permitted to enable you to make the turn. You spend more time watching for signs and faded road markings that warn of hefty fines than you do trying to avoid genuine hazards such as pedestrians.
It's no better on the motorways, trying to filter across multiple lanes of a busy motorway to make an exit while trying to ensure you don't exceed the average speed limit can be a fun challenge. And having to crawl past enormous lorries rather than quickly pass them is "exhilarating". And smart motorways are great, I mean the hard shoulder was just a waste of space wasn't it.
Back on the roads, make sure you avoid rear-ending the numpty in front who hit the anchors as they approached a speed camera, they clearly did not know they were already under the limit. Speed bumps are fun though aren't they, especially those with no visible markings or warning, you can get "air" over them at 30. And then there are the traffic calming chicanes, what a great idea that is, turn your local high street into a race track. Mind you, in most of Oxfordshire, and Wales I believe the limit is now 20 for no apparent reason other than the power to make such a decision has been delegated to the local loony councils. Mind you, it's still not quite as barmy as Poynton's "shared space" experiment.
news.sky.com
