United thread 2013/14

[samharris]

MailOnline Sport @MailSport

Sir Alex Ferguson is understood to have called PSG manager Laurent Blanc to check on Edinson Cavani's situation. More to follow... #mufc

How can a newspaper get away with writing such lies

By putting the word 'uderstood' in the statement..

 

[Sir peace frog]

'You have sucked the Devil's cock for far too long, and now it's time to swallow, you ****'.
Absolute and utter genius.

pmsl when I heard that. One of the greatest lines I've ever heard!

hahahahahaha misses just asked what I was laughing at,i couldn't read it out because of the kids

 

[dctid]

Sounds like desperation to me nothing more

Cavani would be more likely to go to Chelski

 

[samharris]

'You have sucked the Devil's cock for far too long, and now it's time to swallow, you ****'.
Absolute and utter genius.

pmsl when I heard that. One of the greatest lines I've ever heard!

hahahahahaha misses just asked what I was laughing at,i couldn't read it out because of the kids

That comment has been used a few times on this forum before but this time round it has so many truths in it..

 

[baildon blue]

They looked really shit yesterday . Even Martin Tyler couldn't make them sound like they were brilliant yesterday . Even Sky cant disguise this team are the worst champions we have ever seen .

 

[Thaksinssoldier]

I'm just off the phone with Cavani.

Turns out he's a lifelong united fan is is taking a huge pay cut for the honour of playing for the shirt.

Expect a badge kiss on his first goal, which inevitably will be a Sneijder to Cesc to Tranny to Bale move of 40 passes before Ibra puts it in and his dreams of not playing in European football next season comes through.

 

[samharris]

David Moyes was praying to god for divine help to get out of the shit he was in when god beamed him up to heaven. God said "sorry Davey but even I cant get you out of this shit,but heres sommat to cushion the blow" God took Davey outside and showed him a quaint little 2 bed cottage in a clearing in the woods. It had red curtains a red door and glory glory man united could be heard coming out of one of the upstairs windows.God said "this is where you'll live when you come to heaven and I hope you like it"..Davey turned around to say thankyou and then he saw it, a huge 30 room mansion with sky blue curtains,a sky blue front door,city banners and scarves were draped from the windows,Blue Moon was playing loudly from every window and a huge City flag was on the roof and could be seen for miles around..Davey turned to God and said "I suppose this is going to be pellegrinis house??"
God said " fuck off Davey...that's my house"..

 

[r.soleofsalford]

David Moyes was praying to god for divine help to get out of the shit he was in when god beamed him up to heaven. God said "sorry Davey but even I cant get you out of this shit,but heres sommat to cushion the blow" God took Davey outside and showed him a quaint little 2 bed cottage in a clearing in the woods. It had red curtains a red door and glory glory man united could be heard coming out of one of the upstairs windows.God said "this is where you'll live when you come to heaven and I hope you like it"..Davey turned around to say thankyou and then he saw it, a huge 30 room mansion with sky blue curtains,a sky blue front door,city banners and scarves were draped from the windows,Blue Moon was playing loudly from every window and a huge City flag was on the roof and could be seen for miles around..Davey turned to God and said "I suppose this is going to be pellegrinis house??"
God said " fuck off Davey...that's my house"..

bravo

 

[TCIB]

David Moyes was praying to god for divine help to get out of the shit he was in when god beamed him up to heaven. God said "sorry Davey but even I cant get you out of this shit,but heres sommat to cushion the blow" God took Davey outside and showed him a quaint little 2 bed cottage in a clearing in the woods. It had red curtains a red door and glory glory man united could be heard coming out of one of the upstairs windows.God said "this is where you'll live when you come to heaven and I hope you like it"..Davey turned around to say thankyou and then he saw it, a huge 30 room mansion with sky blue curtains,a sky blue front door,city banners and scarves were draped from the windows,Blue Moon was playing loudly from every window and a huge City flag was on the roof and could be seen for miles around..Davey turned to God and said "I suppose this is going to be pellegrinis house??"
God said " fuck off Davey...that's my house"..

A proper joke on bm, take a bow sir.
Gave me a chuckle at any rate :-)

 

[bobmcfc]

David Moyes was praying to god for divine help to get out of the shit he was in when god beamed him up to heaven. God said "sorry Davey but even I cant get you out of this shit,but heres sommat to cushion the blow" God took Davey outside and showed him a quaint little 2 bed cottage in a clearing in the woods. It had red curtains a red door and glory glory man united could be heard coming out of one of the upstairs windows.God said "this is where you'll live when you come to heaven and I hope you like it"..Davey turned around to say thankyou and then he saw it, a huge 30 room mansion with sky blue curtains,a sky blue front door,city banners and scarves were draped from the windows,Blue Moon was playing loudly from every window and a huge City flag was on the roof and could be seen for miles around..Davey turned to God and said "I suppose this is going to be pellegrinis house??"
God said " fuck off Davey...that's my house"..

Haha