United thread 2017/18

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worsleyweb said:
Brilliant - they are fucked now! Pogpa clearly has issues and will never be fit or consistent plus he is a complete twat. Lukaku is a 30 million pound mid table striker. They are just a big team of cloggers. They have a manager who is outdated and will need a big pay off. There ground is like a 1960s physics lab. The fans are all wankers. All 659 million of them. They have a fat left back they paid 30 million for. A 32 million pound centre half from Sweden who is shit. Mata is a lovely bloke but no pace. The Armenian has proved to be a bit shit. Jones is pig ugly. Lindergard is a scrote. Martial has French issues. Rashford wants to play for us. The goalies girlfriend will dump him if he stays in Manchester much longer. Ibrahimovic is 53. Their neighbours are playing the best football the premiership has ever seen with a manager who is pleasant. They have a vile narcissistic wanker who lives in a hotel and has not settled. Their training ground is near a load of ugly pylons. They are a fucking repugnant classless bunch of wankers and they have finished behind us for god knows how many years and will do again this year!! Three weeks ago they thought they would win the title - now they realise they are shit!!

Karma you red twats!!
Click to expand...
Pep's team talk before we play them?
 
worsleyweb said:
Brilliant - they are fucked now! Pogpa clearly has issues and will never be fit or consistent plus he is a complete twat. Lukaku is a 30 million pound mid table striker. They are just a big team of cloggers. They have a manager who is outdated and will need a big pay off. There ground is like a 1960s physics lab. The fans are all wankers. All 659 million of them. They have a fat left back they paid 30 million for. A 32 million pound centre half from Sweden who is shit. Mata is a lovely bloke but no pace. The Armenian has proved to be a bit shit. Jones is pig ugly. Lindergard is a scrote. Martial has French issues. Rashford wants to play for us. The goalies girlfriend will dump him if he stays in Manchester much longer. Ibrahimovic is 53. Their neighbours are playing the best football the premiership has ever seen with a manager who is pleasant. They have a vile narcissistic wanker who lives in a hotel and has not settled. Their training ground is near a load of ugly pylons. They are a fucking repugnant classless bunch of wankers and they have finished behind us for god knows how many years and will do again this year!! Three weeks ago they thought they would win the title - now they realise they are shit!!

Karma you red twats!!
Click to expand...

And all this before they face a financial meltdown after they are exposed for tax avoidance in the Paradise papers leak!
 
"They have a fat left back they paid 30 million for. A 32 million pound centre half from Sweden who is shit. Mata is a lovely bloke but no pace. The Armenian has proved to be a bit shit. Jones is pig ugly. Lindergard is a scrote. Martial has French issues. Rashford wants to play for us. The goalies girlfriend will dump him if he stays in Manchester much longer. Ibrahimovic is 53"

After reading this with an ever growing smile, i lost it at "Ibrahimovic is 53"
 
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