United Thread - 2023/24

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I thought they would be much improved this season but they are serving up the same comedy as last season
They bought an injured center forward, an injured CDM, Mason Mount who is injured. A goalkeeper who can pass like Pirlo, but can't save shots that are a foot away from him. Varane is injured, Shaw is injured, Malacia is injured. Their brightest academy star, Kobbie Mainoo, is injured. They have one £73m right winger training with the under 21's, and an £80m right winger on leave for an unknown period of time, and a striker playing for Getafe because they were the only club that would have him. Casemiro looks like he's been doing pub crawls in his spare time. Varane is injured. Rashford and Martial are sulking on the pitch, Fernandes is a headless chicken that plays one good pass in 30. Sergio Reguilon who is Tottenham's 3rd choice left back and hasn't played a competitive game in six months, was their fittest player today. They brought on sideshow Bob today, and even their own players didn't know who he was, and yet he was better than all of them.

Rotten to the core.
 
Everyone in the world knew you'd get one good season out of him, but by the time he'd settled he'd already be declining. Real must have been laughing their arse off for getting that sort of money and final payday for a club legend they were going to have to phase out anyway.
Indeed. Fantastic. I though they couldn’t get any funnier, but they have!
 
They are fortunate to have more than 2 points to be honest and could easily have none.

The demise of £70m Casemiro is wonderful! What an absolute waste of money.
This is the worst thing about the Saudi league. All the washed up pro's are heading there now, instead of the swamp for a last payday.

Fortunately the rags scouting system has adapted, and is still as inept as ever, it's now finding new and innovative ways to still keep us all entertained.
 
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They bought an injured center forward, an injured CDM, Mason Mount who is injured. A goalkeeper who can pass like Pirlo, but can't save shots that are a foot away from him. Varane is injured, Shaw is injured, Malacia is injured. Their brightest academy star, Kobbie Mainoo, is injured. They have one £73m right winger training with the under 21's, and an £80m right winger on leave for an unknown period of time, and a striker playing for Getafe because they were the only club that would have him. Casemiro looks like he's been doing pub crawls in his spare time. Varane is injured. Rashford and Martial are sulking on the pitch, Fernandes is a headless chicken that plays one good pass in 30. Sergio Reguilon who is Tottenham's 3rd choice left back and hasn't played a competitive game in six months, was their fittest player today. They brought on sideshow Bob today, and even their own players didn't know who he was, and yet he was better than all of them.

Rotten to the core.
They bought a literal heart attack survivor to be the legs of the fella who looks like he's already settled into his retired chubby and content South American pundit phase of his career.
 
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