United Thread - 2023/24

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I’m pissed on the Bourbon, just wanted to come and say the following:

What an absolute steaming pile of old yellow custardy semen this club has become. A combination of arrogance and lack of ability encased in a rusty, theatre of mediocrity.

Their fanbase is crying on every platform, Sandra Goldbridge saying the words Manchester City, 450 times a day despite being a Yanited fan channel.

Scotty Spotty Crater Cheeks being brought on thinking he’s DeBruyne, but the only thing they have in common is the sport they play, and I was going to mention penis, but I’m not so certain.

A pissed up Troy Deeney is better at football than the lot combined. Probably better at shagging too. Speaking of, someone please get that Poundland Halaand a woman. Or teach him to wank. Not seen that many spots since NASA released a deep space picture.

Ten Bobby looks like a Peaky Blinders character fill up, they kill and load up at the back of the van.

And the two morbidly old men, Sir Jim and Ser Horse Spunk watching over it all, like Rameses the 2nd’s mummy watching over his own grave.

What an absolute wankstain of a club. Where’s your banners now you utter shit bags.

Back to my drink I go.

Wait. Hold on.. isnt all semen yellow and custard like?
You mean…
 
I’m pissed on the Bourbon, just wanted to come and say the following:

What an absolute steaming pile of old yellow custardy semen this club has become. A combination of arrogance and lack of ability encased in a rusty, theatre of mediocrity.

Their fanbase is crying on every platform, Sandra Goldbridge saying the words Manchester City, 450 times a day despite being a Yanited fan channel.

Scotty Spotty Crater Cheeks being brought on thinking he’s DeBruyne, but the only thing they have in common is the sport they play, and I was going to mention penis, but I’m not so certain.

A pissed up Troy Deeney is better at football than the lot combined. Probably better at shagging too. Speaking of, someone please get that Poundland Halaand a woman. Or teach him to wank. Not seen that many spots since NASA released a deep space picture.

Ten Bobby looks like a Peaky Blinders character fill up, they kill and load up at the back of the van.

And the two morbidly old men, Sir Jim and Ser Horse Spunk watching over it all, like Rameses the 2nd’s mummy watching over his own grave.

What an absolute wankstain of a club. Where’s your banners now you utter shit bags.

Back to my drink I go.
When you say that McTwatface "plays" football, am I right to assume that you’re using the word in its loosest possible sense?
 
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