United Thread - 2023/24

[TheBlueCat]

JFE haha this gets funnier by the day

Tbf he’s better than Varane.

 

[N1985]

Good ol' JFE back at the Swamp. Hope he's still having fucking nightmares from the Sick Swan.

 

[hammocity]

He arrived at HIS home in the middle of the night, all the lights were on and the doors were open. Her sisters car was on the driveway with HIS dog in the back, the seats were piled high with stuff, he didn't even bother to check it, just got his dog out of the boot. He never tried to stop them from taking any stuff, apart from his dog and his phone.

The fact that she lied about being chucked out of the hotel naked, makes us question the validity of her testimony. If she lied about that, why not lie about the headbutt. Two drunk people bending down to grab a phone and banging heads sounds pretty plausible to me. Not sure how it went to trial in the first place. A needless waste of money.

Yeah right, it’s the first place I’d think of putting my phone on the floor, a clothes pocket would be where I’d put mine.

So Family Guy would have been telling porkies on that incident so by your reasoning we can’t believe anything he says.

 

[Vienna_70]

Oh No Ah doesn't have an Inter Milan defence in front of him.

He has United's.

And he has to face Erling, Kevin, Phil and co. at least twice a season, instead of once in a blue moon, as well as players like the Egyptian diver, Gabriel, Saka, etc.

 

[meeesh]

Tbf he’s better than Varane.

I'm better than Varane

 

[ManCitizens.]

I'm happy with Jonny Evans back at the club. He's a free agent. Pep tried to sign him in 2017 & 2019 when Laporte was injured and Fenandinho was played at center half. He's a ball playing defender. Does all the right things consistently.

He'll be a decent 5th choice center back, after world cup winners Martinez & Varane. Sweden Captain, Victor Lindelof. And Luke Shaw.

Assuming those rumours were actually true, he was in his prime (hahaha) not 35. Your comments are very delusional btw, ‘Sweden captain, World Cup winners’ like that means anything. If it did why was you so shit last season?

 

[mattcity5]

I'm happy with Jonny Evans back at the club. He's a free agent. Pep tried to sign him in 2017 & 2019 when Laporte was injured and Fenandinho was played at center half. He's a ball playing defender. Does all the right things consistently.

He'll be a decent 5th choice center back, after world cup winners Martinez & Varane. Sweden Captain, Victor Lindelof. And Luke Shaw.

It's funny, united fans used to say Otamendi was shit when he was at City.

Now he regularly keeps Martinez out of the Argentina team and they all think he's incredible and go on about him "winning the World Cup" when he was sat on the bench for the final.

Surely if he can't get picked ahead of Otamendi he can't be that good, no?

Oh and Lindelof is dogshit, Shaw adequate and Varane a bit soft and too injury-prone.

And wait til we get the pleasure of seeing Wan-Bissaka try and play out of defence...

 

[Mr Edward's shoe mirror]

Fuck off, what a load of shit, but like the Dippers dropping a pot of coins on a young City fan then saying it was a whip round for the driver.

The CPS would have prosecuted in the first place if he didn’t have a case to answer, then a lengthy deliberation by the Jury that led to what should have been a retrial but his girlfriend for whatever reason doesn’t have the appetite for it.

I suppose you’ll tell us Greenwood is innocent as well, remember this?

I wish the football season would start soon, then we wouldn't be subjected to oddballs snuffling around in the dirt like tabloid pigs.

Some of the threads on here read like a bunch of women sat in a launderette in the 1970's.

"Ooooh, have you heard about Camel gob at number 5, they found whacky backy in his donkey jacket. They should bloody well send them back to where they belong....And that randy bugger at number 11, just like his father, can't bloody keep his hands to himself. If he's not feeling them up, he's slapping them down."

 

[hammocity]

I wish the football season would start soon, then we wouldn't be subjected to oddballs snuffling around in the dirt like tabloid pigs.

Some of the threads on here read like a bunch of women sat in a launderette in the 1970's.

"Ooooh, have you heard about Camel gob at number 5, they found whacky backy in his donkey jacket. They should bloody well send them back to where they belong....And that randy bugger at number 11, just like his father, can't bloody keep his hands to himself. If he's not feeling them up, he's slapping them down."

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When a rag comes on here spouting shit what do you expect.

 

[bobbyowenquiff]

I didn't say that United were title contenders, but the pieces are so obviously falling into place. He needed rid of Ronaldo, he did that. He needed to replace the goalkeeper, he did that. He had to strip Harry Maguire of captaincy, he did that. Players that have gone up a level in performance under Ten Hag. Rashford, Shaw, Garnacho, Wan Bisakka, Bruno, Fred, Lindelof...this is in just one season. He has wanted Mason Mount since 2017, now he's got him. And we will soon see why.

Arsenal had a flash in the pan season. They went out of all the cup comps early and only had to concentrate on the PL and they bottled that in the end.
It is unlikely that Liverpool will hit the ground running with half their squad ripped out and replaced. It takes Klopp 2 seasons to build a squad.
Chelsea are a mess. An owner playing championship manager and wondering why Mykhailo Mudryk isn't the new Mbappe. They are a disaster.

Have you being taking Prozac? Or are you a stand- up comic?